Ok, since i'm in a mood to get things off my chest right now, I might as well post this as well.
I actually feel kinda bad about this one tho...*sigh*
Anywho, so while I was in Korea I kinda fell is love with this one guy, and he ended up dumping me 'cuz the relationship wasn't really working, and we were both getting ready to leave korea (him going off to college and me going to here, stupid-head OK) anywho, so he dumped me. And I have never been dumped before...this sounds kinda bad to me, but I always end the relationship on my terms when I'm ready, yes yes...I am a heartbreaker. go me. haha..ok, enough of that.
So anywho, when I came home for a bit, I went to see my ex Rob, mainly to appologize and be all like, make amends and be friends or something. And I didn't realize I was on the rebound (tho I should have 'cuz I think I tried to get with like three different people while I was home, shit). Anywho, I almost did something really stupid, and I'm glad I didnt', but that's neither here nor there...
Anywho, so seeing him, I guess I just wanted to feel loved or needed or whatever you feel on the rebound. And I ended up sleeping with him twice. Which I didn't mean to do, I didn't want to do that, I mean I did at the time, but overall my plans were not to go home and hook up with anyone again. grr to me being stupid. So yea, and then I thought "oh I can hook back up with him". like hell I could. the reason I broke up with him before wasn't just because I suck at long-distance relationships. I just couldn't deal with him either. I mean, he's an awesome person, he's very sweet, and I hate myself for hurting him over and over again, but I guess that's just who I am now.
Anywho, so we get to talking and I'm talking about maybe moving in with him when I come back home and get all upidty about that. Then I'm sitting there and I'm like, "wtf megan? what the hell are you doing??? you know you dont' want this, yer just gonna hurt yerself and him again." oh, and what did i do? just that. I talked to Charlie about it, and realized I had just used him while I was on the rebound or whatever you want to call that.
I know it sounds like I'm placing the blame for this on some stuipd thing, I'm not. I completely blame myself for it because I should have not done it, I should have stayed away, and things would have been fine, we still could have been good friends, but no, I fskzored that all to hell. Ah well.
But yea, I feel bad about that too. I'm a pretty horrible person I guess. I guess I just suck at life sometimes. I'm working on that one tho. ^_^
arr! i'm a happy pirate!
I actually feel kinda bad about this one tho...*sigh*
Anywho, so while I was in Korea I kinda fell is love with this one guy, and he ended up dumping me 'cuz the relationship wasn't really working, and we were both getting ready to leave korea (him going off to college and me going to here, stupid-head OK) anywho, so he dumped me. And I have never been dumped before...this sounds kinda bad to me, but I always end the relationship on my terms when I'm ready, yes yes...I am a heartbreaker. go me. haha..ok, enough of that.
So anywho, when I came home for a bit, I went to see my ex Rob, mainly to appologize and be all like, make amends and be friends or something. And I didn't realize I was on the rebound (tho I should have 'cuz I think I tried to get with like three different people while I was home, shit). Anywho, I almost did something really stupid, and I'm glad I didnt', but that's neither here nor there...
Anywho, so seeing him, I guess I just wanted to feel loved or needed or whatever you feel on the rebound. And I ended up sleeping with him twice. Which I didn't mean to do, I didn't want to do that, I mean I did at the time, but overall my plans were not to go home and hook up with anyone again. grr to me being stupid. So yea, and then I thought "oh I can hook back up with him". like hell I could. the reason I broke up with him before wasn't just because I suck at long-distance relationships. I just couldn't deal with him either. I mean, he's an awesome person, he's very sweet, and I hate myself for hurting him over and over again, but I guess that's just who I am now.
Anywho, so we get to talking and I'm talking about maybe moving in with him when I come back home and get all upidty about that. Then I'm sitting there and I'm like, "wtf megan? what the hell are you doing??? you know you dont' want this, yer just gonna hurt yerself and him again." oh, and what did i do? just that. I talked to Charlie about it, and realized I had just used him while I was on the rebound or whatever you want to call that.
I know it sounds like I'm placing the blame for this on some stuipd thing, I'm not. I completely blame myself for it because I should have not done it, I should have stayed away, and things would have been fine, we still could have been good friends, but no, I fskzored that all to hell. Ah well.
But yea, I feel bad about that too. I'm a pretty horrible person I guess. I guess I just suck at life sometimes. I'm working on that one tho. ^_^
arr! i'm a happy pirate! 
jonbruce:
Well, you know, sex is just sex unless you attach a feeling to it. I mean, you did it, and you don't want to do it again, but even if you did it wouldn't kill you (hopefully). So don't worry about it. Everything is right with the world now, right? I'm sure time will heal all wounds and you'll be friends again.