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hypersage

Bethnal Green, London

Member Since 2007

Followers 45 Following 68

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Friday Jan 28, 2011

Jan 28, 2011
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After all that she has done to me, all the lies she has told and the times she has been unfaithful: I hear her say that she misses me and thinks about me a lot and my heart is happy.

My head is saying "run, you fool" but my heart belongs to her alone. My head wonders if these words are spoken to keep me hanging on, knowing that she is still fucking her new man, but my heart doesn't care. The longing is getting unbearable.

Just 3 words, "I miss you", are enough to send my heart soaring while my head stands below wishing it weren't so stupid and hoping the love diminishes soon.

Where do I go from here when the only place that feels home is in her arms?

"He that lives upon hope will die fasting."
Benjamin Franklin

*Update*

After telling me yesterday that she misses me and thinks about me all the time: she went straight to his Facebook page to post sexual stuff on his wall (WHERE OUR KIDS CAN SEE IT). I'm fucking fuming. I fall for her sweet words everytime and she fucks me over again and again.

As far as I'm concerned, he can fuck her as much as he likes. There are two types of women out there, the ones you just fuck and the ones you marry. I'm just sorry that I confused which one she is for so long.

Sorry if that sounds bitter and sexist but I'm really feeling damaged here.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thegutterpunk:
mate...we're singing from the same hymn sheet. i find myself in the same situation as you....not pleasant..heartbreaking in fact. for all the people that say ''you gotta let her go..''? i'm the one who'll say...i know you cant. i know you want to. but it's so freakin hard. i've been trying to let go for 6 months. seriously, i really do know what you're going thru...every ache, every tear, every moment that you cant get her out of your head.
i'm with you my man, i'm with you. be strong.
Si.
Feb 11, 2011
alexanderw:
Without indulging in diagnosis as that would be utterly inappropriate, I would strongly, strongly recommend you run out and purchase this book and here's the link to one possible explanation of what might have been unfolding: http://www.bpdcentral.com/bks/swoe.php

Among other things, the classic tendencies of BPD and/or NPD folk is that they shift frames of reality and you are alternatively 'good person/bad person' - strikingly, the partner/lover of such a person usually ends up feeling as though they are at fault, miss the (really) abusive 'love' of the BPD/NPD, and spend time wishing for the person they love to come back.
Feb 11, 2011

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