hypersage

This past week has been a strange one for me. A string of family arguments has led to my Dad walking out of the pub he owns with my brother and ignoring all of us. He hasn't spoken to me, my Mum or my brother since last Sunday when he and I had a huge row... and our lives couldn't be more peaceful.

My Dad is a hard man to deal with, he has minimal people skills and is used to getting things his own way. His Mum died when he was 16 and his Dad was never around, as such he is very closed off emotionally. He has had his own business since the age of 18 and has been in charge of people since then. Unfortunately, he has no idea of how to talk to people properly.

I worked for him for many years, making furniture and our relationship suffered a great deal during this time. I am too stubborn and argumentative to let him talk to me in the same shitty way he does with everyone else and we used to argue all the time. Realizing that I couldn't be bullied anymore, he usually resorted to being an ass to my Mum and brothers and this hasn't changed. To this day, if I stand up to him, my Mum's life becomes really difficult as he sulks like a child for ages afterwards. When you're a kid and you see your friends parents splitting up, you worry that it might happen to your Mum & Dad. Now though, I wonder how she put up with him for so long.

Until last week he was working with my brother in the pub they own and this relationshipwas suffering in the same way as ours did, even the staff were dreading going to work because of the way he treated them. This is something which really gets to me as we all HAVE to work and this should be as happy an environment as possible. Unfortunately, my Dad doesn't feel the same. Couple this with the fact that he's a bully and you have a recipe for a bad workplace.

Things blew up last weekend when I got pissed off at the way he was talking to Kirstie (she works there too), he followed this with an argument with my brother and then went about treating everyone else like shit. We're all pretty used to this and it would have blown over but he followed this by walking out and leaving my Mum to work the bar all day and night, alone. He didn't even come back to help her lock up at 2am and, her being a Mum, she didn't want to ring and get one of us out that late. When my brother and I found out the next morning, we were pissed.

So, none of us have spoken to him in over a week and we've all been pulling together and trying to keep the place running. I've been running around trying to help out as much as I can and the place is running better than ever, everyone is enjoying going to work now and they're all just worried that he might decide to come back.

Now a question. If you discover that your Father (or any other family member) is the type of person you would never have around if you weren't related: is it your duty to tough it out and try to make it work, no matter how little effort the other person makes?

This may sound like a teenage-type 'I hate my parents' rant but it's not, I just wanted to explain why I haven't been around. I just hope some of you noticed.

Also this week is approaching the time when, last year, my marriage hit a rocky patch. Many of you know the story so I won't go over it again. I've been feeling really low about it recently, on top of remembering how bad it felt back then, I've been confused and worried that it still bothers me so much. I feel like maybe I should be over it more than I am.

I can't wait to get back into the swing of things here and catch up with some of you.

"Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go according to any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material."
F Scott Fitzgerald