hypersage

I have always bounced from job to job, not really knowing what I wanted to do with my life. I've been an estate agent, a door to door salesman (for a company who use those scare tactics you see on the documentary shows about unethical salesmen) and made furniture. I've also been a handyman and worked with heavy machinery.

2 years ago, I was working a bad job in a beautiful place. My Dad's friend has a stud farm where they breed and train racehorses and, to this day, it is one of my favourite places in the world. Walking among the stables and paddocks with the horses running around, the doves they keep on site flying overhead and rabbits playing in the fields. It's a truly magical place. The job wasn't too bad; I was one of a team who kept things running smoothly. We were responsible for repairs, maintenance and general building work. The type of work I do has never really mattered to me, I'm not one of those people who think that there are jobs I'm too good for, if I'm getting paid then a job is worthwhile. That's where the problems were though, they were having money problems so we were rarely paid on time and, with a mortgage and family, this wasn't an ideal situation.

Then I was offered my current job. I had no experience but my boss knew of me and knew that I could turn my hand to pretty much anything. My job is fairly unique. The actual job title is pretty standard and quite boring, I'm a finance broker, but the day-to-day workings of my role are very different.

I'm in an office all day, on my own. This may sound lonely to some people but I like it, I have no-one watching over my shoulder, I come and go as I please and I wear what I want.

The other part of my job which is unique is that I do NO work. The original plan was that I come to work here and my boss trains me up, then (after I'm fully trained) we expand the office and bring someone else in who I help train. Obviously, as well as training me, my boss has to make enough money to keep the business going and that's where the problem lies. He hasn't had enough time to do both, he is so busy actually being a finance broker that he doesn't have time to train one. He's out on the road all the time and we talk every week about when we'll get enough time to start training me up so I can help him but these conversations have become more of a routine thing than a planning thing.

Initially I was tasked with setting the office up, sorting out furniture and computer systems etc. Once that was done though, nothing. So I sit here, waiting in the office in case something comes up that I can help with.

At first, getting paid good money to do nothing was great, who wouldn't love to be in that situation? Now though, I'm bored. I feel like my brain is actually melting. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit here all day staring at blank walls, I'm putting myself through accountancy classes and I read a lot of books while I'm at work. Sometimes I lock the doors and crawl onto the sofa (we bought for clients to wait on) and have a sleep, but overall sitting in this office seems to have affected my motivation. For now though, it's a good place to come and do my school work. After that? We'll see how the situation is and decide from there. Once I'm a qualified accountant (with letters after my name and a qualification which is recognised worldwide) I'll be in a better position to judge whether it's worth sticking this out or if I'm better off moving on.

I know that I've just made an entry which say's absolutely nothing of substance but please forgive me, my brain is melting after all.

"If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday."
Noel Coward