hypersage

Why do we bother playing other people's games?

I have this friend, a really good friend and my wife is close to his wife. In fact, they were friends first and introduced us. They have been coming over to my house every Saturday night for the past two years and hanging out, playing xbox, watching movies etc.

On these occassions when we all get together this woman, let's call her Penny (because it's her name ) is constantly bitching about all of her other friends. I have mentioned to my wife (Kirstie) that it is not a big leap to think that if she is being nasty to us about other people, then she is probably being nasty about us to other people. This has now been confirmed by a mutual friend whose exact words were these: " I don't want to get in the middle of anything or cause an argument, so I won't tell you what she is saying but... she's not your friend". Nice.

Penny is not the kind of woman who needs a reason to talk shit about you, you dont have to have pissed her off and she can do it one moment and come round for coffee and a chat straight after, with no indication that anything is wrong. It is a funny situation to me because she can be talking shit about us to another friend but then gets jealous if we have that other friend over, or my brother over, or even my Mum.

Now, is it just me or did you think that this sort of thing stopped when you left school too?

I bit my tongue (not just now, that would hurt and would hardly be worth interrupting a blog to mention) and kept silent for the sake of friendship. It seems to have gotten worse.

We got Penny a job. It was offered to Kirstie but she doesn't drive so as a mutually beneficial deal we asked if she and Penny could split the work load. Penny gets a job and Kirstie gets a ride. Now though, Penny has decided that she wants to start work at 8am so that she can finish earlier and do whatever it is Psycho, bunny-boiling, pretend-friends do during the daytime. So we have 2 choices (until she finishes driving lessons): Kirstie can get up early and leave me to do both of the Devil Children's school runs or I can take Kirstie to work and leave the office when she finishes to take her home.

Let me clarify something, I am not pissed because I expect her to be Kirstie's personal taxi driver. I am pissed because these new work hours started today and we didnt even get a heads up. How hard is it to say "Oh, Hey. I need to start work earlier from next week. Can you make other arrangements or do you want to start earlier with me?" or words to that effect? No, the first time this was discussed was today, when I brought Kirstie to work.

Why do we go out of our way to be friends with a woman who (a) talks dirt about us behind our backs and (b) gives no thought to how her actions affect the people she is supposed to be closest to?

Fuck that. I'm not playing anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent.

"True friends stab you in the front."
Oscar Wilde