i'm sure by now you're all pretty sick of hearing me bitch about the damned hurricane. yeah, i'm sick of hearing about the damned hurricane as well.
things are plugging along. it's hard to focus on the day to day routine when i don't know when i'll have to drop everything and go home to pack up my things. but. i'm trying.
and it's lonely here. not that i didn't feel the same way in New Orleans, most of the time. i suppose it's nothing new. i have a couple of good friends here, who Rhys has known all his life. other than that... well, people do come up and talk to me. which is something they never did in New Orleans. i mean, at school. there seems to be much less of the whole pretending to be distant because you're just too damned cool to be bothered to walk up to someone who you think looks interesting and introduce yourself. that's refreshing.
most of my fellow grads at school seem nice, but they're kind of in their own worlds, if you know what i mean. except for one girl, who is loud and talks a lot. and loves jesus, i think. but they all make amazing art. it's intimidating and exciting at the same time. part of me is afraid i'm not going to measure up. i'm excited to get started making stuff, but also afraid and anxious about the future, and what responsibilities, obligations and contractual agreements i may or may not have... all worries. trivial worries. but that's how i roll.
i suspect everything will seem a lot more stable and a lot less out of control when we're able to move to Greenville and are living in a place of our own. and when i don't have to rely on other people to take me to and fro, and when i can cook and clean and order my little world exactly the way i want. yeah. it'll get better. and i'll meet more people, and make friends, and make some fucking awesome art.
in time, in time. it's just the waiting that's tearing me apart. it's the unknowns, the variables, the great sucking void. it's my head. all in my head. if i could just take a deep breath and accept what is, and what isn't, and what can and can't be known, or changed, or argued about... then i'd be fine. unfortunately, for me, that ain't my style. never was, never will be.
i am, after all, Hyena "The Hard Way" Hell. always fighting against the wind.
love, all.
-Hyena.
things are plugging along. it's hard to focus on the day to day routine when i don't know when i'll have to drop everything and go home to pack up my things. but. i'm trying.
and it's lonely here. not that i didn't feel the same way in New Orleans, most of the time. i suppose it's nothing new. i have a couple of good friends here, who Rhys has known all his life. other than that... well, people do come up and talk to me. which is something they never did in New Orleans. i mean, at school. there seems to be much less of the whole pretending to be distant because you're just too damned cool to be bothered to walk up to someone who you think looks interesting and introduce yourself. that's refreshing.
most of my fellow grads at school seem nice, but they're kind of in their own worlds, if you know what i mean. except for one girl, who is loud and talks a lot. and loves jesus, i think. but they all make amazing art. it's intimidating and exciting at the same time. part of me is afraid i'm not going to measure up. i'm excited to get started making stuff, but also afraid and anxious about the future, and what responsibilities, obligations and contractual agreements i may or may not have... all worries. trivial worries. but that's how i roll.
i suspect everything will seem a lot more stable and a lot less out of control when we're able to move to Greenville and are living in a place of our own. and when i don't have to rely on other people to take me to and fro, and when i can cook and clean and order my little world exactly the way i want. yeah. it'll get better. and i'll meet more people, and make friends, and make some fucking awesome art.
in time, in time. it's just the waiting that's tearing me apart. it's the unknowns, the variables, the great sucking void. it's my head. all in my head. if i could just take a deep breath and accept what is, and what isn't, and what can and can't be known, or changed, or argued about... then i'd be fine. unfortunately, for me, that ain't my style. never was, never will be.
i am, after all, Hyena "The Hard Way" Hell. always fighting against the wind.
love, all.
-Hyena.
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So did you need anything in particular? I know I can tape the Kinks for you (I've got the song I fucked up on before), and I've got most of Eno's Warm Jets/ Tiger Mountain to one CD, and a lot of GbV, and then my regular old freaky mixes I sent to a dozen folks...