hyenahell

listening to Leonarard Cohen, sucking on a cigarette, and waiting for coffee to brew... sound familiar? heh. you have to have your routines, i suppose.

i didn't really do anything that i meant to yesterday. oops. but i did get to go out to a nice dinner, thanks to Rhys winning some money on internet poker yesterday.

i have to go to the Quarter today. ick. well, to the Canal St. Shops, which is even more ick. talk about being out of my element. everything in those stores costs like a million dollars. but Rhys' birthday is Thursday, and i have to buy him some nice knives at William & Sonoma. i'm also getting him a subcription to Sculpture Magaizine. which, all together, is way more than i can afford. but i made the mistake of blowing off his birthday once before. that was three years ago, and i'm still getting shit for it. uhg. i wish he was the kind of person who would be happy with a c.d., or a book, or something.

um... what else? still haven't heard about the job. if i don't hear from them today or tomorrow, i'm going to go follow up on another application i filled out. i just can't wait around anymore, especially with the aforementioned spending more than i can really afford on birthday presents.

had weird dreams last night. most of them had reoccuring themes, that i'll dream about over and over again:

a) i'm back in college, and have impending deadlines for projects (usually for a sculpture class) that i haven't gotten started on yet, and can't seem to get my shit together. this time, this professor guy was yelling at me to get him all these different bolts, and i couldn't find them. also, my project somehow magically turned into a leatherman tool. the professor guy was not ammused.

b) Buffy the Vampire Slayer dreams, where there's a monster after me. this one was very scary, and there was this video camera set up, and a robot/fake version of me, and other weird stuff. i don't even know how to explain this one.

c) me, mel, and random people from our past all being ostricized for being Satanists. (note: neither mel nor i, nor any of the people in the dream are actually Satanists. we just always are in the dreams.) we get kicked out of places because we are Satanists. this time it was a church. why Satanists would want to hang out in churches is beyond me.

i also had a dream that my parents sold their house and someone else moved in, and i went there, and everything was different. (except it was a "dream version" of my parent's house, and not their actual house. but it was understood, in the dream, to be their house.) and strangers were there. but for some reason, i still had to live there.

so yeah. didn't sleep too well last night. maybe it was all the heavy French food before bed. maybe i was just due for unsettling dreams. meh.



not much else to say...
here's a morning picture of me i took a while back:



here's one that's a bit more accurate:



BLEH! i say.
fuck... i really don't want to go get those knives today. fucking fancy-shmancy shops. they make me uncomfortable.
wish me luck.
love.
-Hyena.