hydrophilic

I don't know whats up with me today, i just feel kind of down.

Last night a party was being held by some of our school friends. The theme was pork and 40's, don't ask b/c i just don't know okay? My roommate and I went and i had fund for the first couple of hours. By the time 1am rolled around she was pretty drunk (and having what looked to be a really good time), while I was stone cold sober (and wasn't having a real good time at all). Everyone else at the party was getting pretty drunk too. I decided I just wanted to go home, She was flirting with one of our school mates and i figured it would be fine to just leave her and she could get a ride with someone else. Generally i don't just leave people somewhere when i'm ready to go home. Usually i just wait it out b/c its almost a universal truth that i will always want to go home before the group. I just don't want to stay out all night all the time. Part of this is that i have such a hard time getting drunk in public, i don't like being out of control. So i ended up leaving at like 1am. The rest of the night turned out to be pretty terrible for me, for some reason i got really mad at myself for leaving my roommate at the party.. as if i was abandoning her something? I felt super unreliable, and felt like shit for leaving first. Also i didn't really feel like i was meshing too well with everyone that night so that had me down a little bit too. Anyway i think its ridiculous how down i feel about this.. she is a big girl she can take care of herself, she was obviously having a good time and it should be fine to leave when i want to. Further if i can't leave my room mate with our friends then we shouldn't have been there in the first place, right?

Anyway i'm being super stupid i need to get over this, b/c i know damn well that nobody else would get this upset over leaving me somewhere.