Sunday Jun 18, 2006

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Sunday Bloody sunday.

Just want to let everyone know what's been up with me.

I finally went and saw a doctor that wasn't mine, the story continues a lot from here

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for the first time in a while, someone listened to me and told me what I had been told before by everyone I've ever talked to. Told me that I should be on something since it's a chemical imbalance. I've really shrugged away from anti-depressants because of prior experience with them. I am so scared right now. I don't want to be back in that haze that caused a lot of confusion and a nice eating disorder on top of it. I'm really scared, but I'm going to do it. I have some Paxil here for my anxiety coupled with come clonazepan to get me through those days. I walked into work the other day breathing hard and crying, embarassed...All i wanted to do was be in my safe place. Being my home. My relationships have greatly suffered from this fiasco recently. I have found myself with no friends. They're there, but all I need to do is work up some guts to dial their numbers and force myself out. I feel so out of reach right now. It's lame. I need to get into 20 year-old mode. I shouldn't be afraid of the world. I should own it.


Ah fear.

So, that's what's been going on with me, I hope to get better, I hope to get back to everyone soon. I just need to start and finish. Which I never do...I'm sorry everyone. I must be a big let-down on here. Not responding to people who I so excitedly responded to in earlier months.. I feel a little sad. I don't want to say completely sad since I have so many good things in my life..

So where will I be in a couple of weeks? Shall I be a space cadet? Will I be able to tell dreams from reality? I'll let everyone know. I'm glad everyone here is here for me.

In other news, I get cable. Real cable. and a family pack. So I will have so many documentaries to watch on lions and tigers and other things that like to rip apart other animals.

I'm really scared about everything right now. I don't want it to do what it did before. I don't want to be like that. I just want my anxiety under control.

In happier news, I think we need some pictures, don't you agree?!

The design for the fathers day card I made for my dad.

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I couldn't get RID of the whole outline, but I thinned it out a little bit!


Now I'll show you a picture of me about 2 seconds before I left for work the other day.

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UMBREALLA HANDLE.


Now, I know you want to know what I read when I sit on the toiler, so I thought I'd show you!

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CALVIN AND HOBBES BITCH


these is some nice boobies.

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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


I almost forgot. The other morning, I was sitting here and I heard geese...a huge group went over my building...I couldn't get the camera in time. THEN...about 2 minutes later, a HUUUUUUUUUGE flock came flocking past again. Here's an example, this isn't even all of them at all.

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I KNOW IT'S HARD TO SEE 'EM


love all

ps

VIEW 25 of 56 COMMENTS
blackleo:
hey those are my headphones GOD.......lol

they are sony right they are the best ones........tongue congrats.........

u see hehehe...
hey nice design for fathers day card......great work at illustrator i guess......kickass kick ass,....biggrin

BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES.......yummie

aso nice bird sketch i think u are the best......just stay where u are and being an artist...u are so damn good



yoshi_____:
Your work rocks!! When are you going to tattoo me?? smile
Nothing more awesome than an SG with amazing artistic talent... wink

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