huw

Ok this is the festival I went to last year.
Look at it, go on look. Lovely weather wasn't it?
Well it fucking wasn't this year!!!
The pop up tent performed magnificently and keep me dry however and we managed to upset everyone that was struggling with theirs by getting ours up in under 30 seconds (which at my age is pretty impressive).
Our first evening was spent relaxing in the sun with a few beers.
Unfortunately this was the last we saw of the fucking sun.

Round about midnight it started to rain and by that I mean in near biblical proportions.
Having thought ahead, I had brought wet weather gear, but some of the chaps hadn't been so lucky.
We made a 4 mile hike along the roadside into Pwllheli where The Boy Called Spitroast and Nath got drunk outside an off licence then put together 2 wet weather outfits for under a tenner between them.

Not fancying the hike back to the site immediately we settled into the local pubs and enjoyed the wine, women and song. And breakdancing. For 6 hours.
I of course was at my charming best.

Or perhaps not

Having suffered the atrocities of the portaloos at the site I took a few moments to relax in the ladies toilets. You know to treat myself. It was a thing of beauty not to have to wade ankle deep in piss and have unflushed logs staring back at me. Like in my toilet at home.

By the time we got back to the site we'd nearly had a fight with a chav who was speeding off his tits but had back down when he saw Dave the Cunt looming over him.

The festival site itself was now a liquid mud hell, but we had a good laugh nonetheless, I don't remember much about the music apart from Mark Ronson walking offstage and possibly being booed, due to sound troubles.

We got back to the tents safely if muddily enough.
Nath was in his underpants only by this stage and Woz had been tipped over and trapped in a portaloo.
The chemical toilet stains made him kind of look like the Hulk.
But with shit all over him.

The next morning we awoke to stories of people "being strangled in a ketamine fueled rage" and rumours that the festival had been cancelled (by this point it had been raining for well over twenty four hours)
and the sense of relief was palpable.
We loaded up our gear and left speedily.
Wait no we fucking didn't! There was only one exit and the car park was a quagmire (Giggedy).
Due to my supreme driving skills and the well known off road capabilities of the Corsa I only got stuck once.
However I spent the next 3 fucking hours sat in a queue intermittently leaping out to push cars out of the mud and offer driving advice. This made me feel manly like my Dad.

We moved 8 miles in four hours, but we all bonded and got through it together.
It was just like the Blitz, only admittedly not as bad.
Probably.
In spite of all the mud and in Woz's case shite, we all had a really good time and I for one made a lot of new friends which has gotta be a good thing and like ya know the women were almost uniformly stunning which overrides everything else

Speaking of which I also met the really rather lovelySkylight who was really rather lovely.

Plus I appear to have received an amazing blowjob

Christ that was a gargantuan entry. Sorry.
It's a very trimmed back version but if you're a glutton for punishment and you're on Facebook then go here to see a looooooaaaad more pics