I've given up trying to fall back asleep...is it that my sickness has broke, is it the anxiety of my week ahead, is it thoughts of my pod-mates Dad dying and him not being into work, did I write the right thing on the card?, what about everyone else writing the 'same thing'...does that comfort?, That line in Invisible Monster "you cannat kiss what has no lips" runs through my mind, maybe its just my cold medicine wearing off.
Anyways...here's my question when it comes to Relationships and how different people approach them, what they look for and what they want out of them; are you:
#2 Pencil...sharply defined about them, a tool to communicate the answers that you've already got inside your head. These answers just need something to accentuate, a tool that follows the rules from the past and what is generally accepted. Life is a puzzle and something to be solved and understood...I know that person exists and my journey is to find that singular person.
#4 Pencil...a way to express all the ideas in your head, maybe not the answers but a self expression that tries to find the truth or at least a 'pulse' in life that I can follow. There is no 'right'or 'wrong' its more about the journey and how we live. Its not specialization and the answers may not be as important as the questions...beauty and companionship can be found in some of the most unsuspecting ways...and it is the broad strokes where a finer point can be established.
Crayon...All things/relationships can just be broken down into our most simple needs and every road I travel I seem to be falling on my face. No one tool can express all your needs and desires. Higher ideals are just that, ideals. Ideals disappoint and all you are left with is what you learned as a little kid, satisfy my basic needs. give me a box of crayons and i'll eventually pick my favorite color..however limiting that color may be, its all that one can hope for.
Anyways...here's my question when it comes to Relationships and how different people approach them, what they look for and what they want out of them; are you:
#2 Pencil...sharply defined about them, a tool to communicate the answers that you've already got inside your head. These answers just need something to accentuate, a tool that follows the rules from the past and what is generally accepted. Life is a puzzle and something to be solved and understood...I know that person exists and my journey is to find that singular person.
#4 Pencil...a way to express all the ideas in your head, maybe not the answers but a self expression that tries to find the truth or at least a 'pulse' in life that I can follow. There is no 'right'or 'wrong' its more about the journey and how we live. Its not specialization and the answers may not be as important as the questions...beauty and companionship can be found in some of the most unsuspecting ways...and it is the broad strokes where a finer point can be established.
Crayon...All things/relationships can just be broken down into our most simple needs and every road I travel I seem to be falling on my face. No one tool can express all your needs and desires. Higher ideals are just that, ideals. Ideals disappoint and all you are left with is what you learned as a little kid, satisfy my basic needs. give me a box of crayons and i'll eventually pick my favorite color..however limiting that color may be, its all that one can hope for.
i don't know anymore.
right now my standards are a lot different. i'm not looking for the one. i think looking doesn't really help anyway. i just want someone i have fun with, who's honest, blah blah blah. so i've been dating someone for almost a year now. we knew after a month we'd never fall in love. we're fundamentally different in many ways, but in general we get along great. so as long as things are good, why end it. occasionally i wonder if i'm missing out on meeting that *special person for me..the one, whathaveyou* but if there really is one person i'm going to connect that deeply with, i think it will happen anyway.
well enough rambling.
margaret cho is cool but i'll always adore janeane garofalo the most.