I have a bit of open windows on the screen .. Fb chat, youtube and of course Sg.
Today was a day of very heavy .. not like the others. I was a bit alone with myself in an isolated place .. my head was a whirlwind of thoughts, fears and anger. Since I finished the summer job I still have not received a call from a hypothetical employer. I think I'm 25 and I have not built anything. I feel like a failure. And this year I could not even keep studying .. because I have not enough money to do so. And the work is not there. Or rather, there is just not for me and my past studies.
I want to build my future .. maybe with the person I love. But for now I can not. I live with my parents and I can not do anything that makes me feel good. I feel oppressed. My think I'm happy .. but how they are wrong.
I wish I could do something to improve the situation but it seems to me that every attempt is a waste of time.
I can not talk about this openly then I vent here on this blog. But I do not do for you to tenderness or compassion. I would like some advice. Often the words of the people outside are much more effective.
I know I'm boring, negative and sad but believe me this is killing me and I'm really reached the limit. Since 2010 is that things are gradually getting worse. My parents did not help me. I've always been independent but now unfortunately I do not have the means to take the plunge.
I seek refuge here .. because I feel good here. I can talk about without shame. Here I met some great people that I would like to know in real life. Too bad they are so far away: (
I hope that, one day, luck turns for a time on my side .. I really need it.
