hubbalub

Yesterday didn't go so well. Well, the last several months haven't gone so well, and I really don't see any hope in sight. I'd like to say that I hope it will get better, but I honestly don't think it will. Things will break before they can get better, and then once the damage is done, as is the case now, it will never be the same. A part of me asks myself why I try, as if nothing matters anymore. It reminds me constantly that this is my life, and without it, I would be nothing. But then part of me tells me that, for those reasons, I should try that much harder. That there is life after this, and I have to build myself up to stand on my own. I'm not one to say that time will tell. I know that some things are beyond our control, but that is unacceptable. When people go about just just ''seeing what happens'', often times it spirals out of control, as if they had control to begin with. I can't just live my life just seeing what happens. I have to make the decision to better myself, by whatever means. If I can't be happy in this situation, I have to remove myself from the situation. I'll keep you posted.