What do you do when you see the beginnings of the end of your family? Do you remove the caustive agent? Try to bring everyone together in a compromise? I don't know.
Let's recap...
My youngest brother had surgery on his back today. Everything went pretty smoothly. I arrive at the hospital after the class I teach at Pulaski Tech. They have gone to get a bite while he is under. I am the only one there when he comes out. I have the post-op consult with the doctor and take notes as to his directions for my brother for the next few days. I take notes because I know I will have to answer any question that my mother has!
My mother, my brother's fiance and her mother, and I wait an hour before we can see my brother. They only two can go back at a time. My mother and my brother's fiance stand up. Rather than cause any issues, I remain seated while they go back. I know there is tension between my mother and my future (God help us!) inlaws. Mom came out after a bit and I got to go back and see him. He was in a lot of pain, but was sporting some fancy gown wear and white stockings with little blue bootie/slippers!!
I go back out and let Toni go back. I have a chance to talk to mom. I get some of the snarky remarks that the in-laws have been throwing her way. Anyway, we figure out that if they let my brother go home today, the best way to transport him would be in my mom's Yukon. There is more room, a moreadjustable seat, and it's a better, smoother ride than the Sante Fe. Mother and Bill had discussed the best plan of attack would be for Melissa and Toni to go get Bill's meds once they start to discharge him. Melissa and Toni are back with my brother. They come out and the plan has changed.
Yet another notch is turned on my mother's pissed-off-meter!
Mother tells Toni exactly what she thinks, which does not paint Melissa in the best light. Melissa is a spoiled, princess. Her mother even says so!
Anyway, we all caravan back. I am following Mother and Bill. They stop at Morgan/Maumelle because of Bill's cotton mouth. Melissa and Toni drive on. We get to Bill's house and LO! Melissa and Toni have stopped to get the scripts. However, that leaves us without keys to the house! After about 10 to 15 minutes, they get home.
We get Bill settled into his chair. Tense atmosphere. You could have used the tension to pull a freight car!!! Melissa asks my mother if she can talk to her for a second. They go outside. Words are exchanged. I hear something to the effect of "Melissa, we will have this conversation later, you are not listening to what I am saying." My mother comes in with Melissa hot on her heels. At some point the conversation turns to shouting. Melissa and Toni are pushing the buttons that they pushed earlier in the day and my mother has had enough.
There are points in everyone's life that is a crossroad. The decision you make at that juncture affects, no just your life, but the rest of everybody that knows you, as well. My mother realized this the split second before she started squeezing the life out of Melissa. Yes, sports fans, my mother had snapped and had her little hands wrapped around Melissa's throat and was going to choke the life out of her when she had her moment of clarity.
Mother comes in and sits down. The shouting continues. This whole time my brother and I are looking at each other in amazement and we are dumbfounded. I can't take it any more. I move between where Melissa is standing screaming at my mother and my mother sitting in her chair. Now, when I want to, I can be quite loud. Believe it or not. I got everything going when I shouted: "THAT"S ENOUGH!!! SHUT UP!! BOTH OF YOU!!!" (When I spoke to my mother later, I apologized. When she said that was the right thing for me to have done, I breathed a sigh of relief and unlocked my doors!)
After they calmed down, the started arguing again. Melissa and Toni proceeded to try and gang up on my mother. I think my mother had the last say, just before she left to go home, when she said, "Anybody that gives my son a social disease is not worth beign around."
I didn't really need to know that. I wonder how she knew? I realize I didn't want to know and pushed it to the side.
So, the long and short of it is, mother and Melissa will never be in the same room again. It would be best if they were never in the same city again. I will be talking to my brother and Melissa about where I stand. I chose not to say anything today, because it would exacerbate the situation. I have a feeling, if my brother does not pull his head from Melissa's ass, that after our conversation, I may very well never see him again.
That's the part of this that is driving me to frustration and tears.
h
Let's recap...
My youngest brother had surgery on his back today. Everything went pretty smoothly. I arrive at the hospital after the class I teach at Pulaski Tech. They have gone to get a bite while he is under. I am the only one there when he comes out. I have the post-op consult with the doctor and take notes as to his directions for my brother for the next few days. I take notes because I know I will have to answer any question that my mother has!
My mother, my brother's fiance and her mother, and I wait an hour before we can see my brother. They only two can go back at a time. My mother and my brother's fiance stand up. Rather than cause any issues, I remain seated while they go back. I know there is tension between my mother and my future (God help us!) inlaws. Mom came out after a bit and I got to go back and see him. He was in a lot of pain, but was sporting some fancy gown wear and white stockings with little blue bootie/slippers!!
I go back out and let Toni go back. I have a chance to talk to mom. I get some of the snarky remarks that the in-laws have been throwing her way. Anyway, we figure out that if they let my brother go home today, the best way to transport him would be in my mom's Yukon. There is more room, a moreadjustable seat, and it's a better, smoother ride than the Sante Fe. Mother and Bill had discussed the best plan of attack would be for Melissa and Toni to go get Bill's meds once they start to discharge him. Melissa and Toni are back with my brother. They come out and the plan has changed.
Yet another notch is turned on my mother's pissed-off-meter!
Mother tells Toni exactly what she thinks, which does not paint Melissa in the best light. Melissa is a spoiled, princess. Her mother even says so!
Anyway, we all caravan back. I am following Mother and Bill. They stop at Morgan/Maumelle because of Bill's cotton mouth. Melissa and Toni drive on. We get to Bill's house and LO! Melissa and Toni have stopped to get the scripts. However, that leaves us without keys to the house! After about 10 to 15 minutes, they get home.
We get Bill settled into his chair. Tense atmosphere. You could have used the tension to pull a freight car!!! Melissa asks my mother if she can talk to her for a second. They go outside. Words are exchanged. I hear something to the effect of "Melissa, we will have this conversation later, you are not listening to what I am saying." My mother comes in with Melissa hot on her heels. At some point the conversation turns to shouting. Melissa and Toni are pushing the buttons that they pushed earlier in the day and my mother has had enough.
There are points in everyone's life that is a crossroad. The decision you make at that juncture affects, no just your life, but the rest of everybody that knows you, as well. My mother realized this the split second before she started squeezing the life out of Melissa. Yes, sports fans, my mother had snapped and had her little hands wrapped around Melissa's throat and was going to choke the life out of her when she had her moment of clarity.
Mother comes in and sits down. The shouting continues. This whole time my brother and I are looking at each other in amazement and we are dumbfounded. I can't take it any more. I move between where Melissa is standing screaming at my mother and my mother sitting in her chair. Now, when I want to, I can be quite loud. Believe it or not. I got everything going when I shouted: "THAT"S ENOUGH!!! SHUT UP!! BOTH OF YOU!!!" (When I spoke to my mother later, I apologized. When she said that was the right thing for me to have done, I breathed a sigh of relief and unlocked my doors!)
After they calmed down, the started arguing again. Melissa and Toni proceeded to try and gang up on my mother. I think my mother had the last say, just before she left to go home, when she said, "Anybody that gives my son a social disease is not worth beign around."
I didn't really need to know that. I wonder how she knew? I realize I didn't want to know and pushed it to the side.
So, the long and short of it is, mother and Melissa will never be in the same room again. It would be best if they were never in the same city again. I will be talking to my brother and Melissa about where I stand. I chose not to say anything today, because it would exacerbate the situation. I have a feeling, if my brother does not pull his head from Melissa's ass, that after our conversation, I may very well never see him again.
That's the part of this that is driving me to frustration and tears.
h
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
taoshen:
I dunno that it is wisdom, but it's what I feel to be true. If that is indeed wise, then thanks for the compliment.
catiedid:
you know where to find me if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen! 