I'm sorry for the continuous updating.
I've been in a funk all day. I'm sick, still, seven days later. It doesn't seem like it's bacterial, so I think I just have to deal with it until someone decides I've 'had enough.' It just puts a damper on everything...talking to people, going out, doing anything more than sitting at a computer. I just hope it goes away soon.
Today really sucked because I didn't do anything--anything. I applied for a few jobs, but it doesn't seem like anything was accomplished. I'll have to wait until tomorrow for any sort of reply to start coming in, anyway. I realized that I'm probably not going to get a stellar-paying job and kick start my life in good fashion right away. It really sucks. I just have this idea of what I'll need to live comfortably, and I don't really want to deviate from that--I don't want to live like I did in college, or like I'm doing at home, I want my own life, and the power, even if it is derived from how much money one makes.
I wish I had some sort of project I can work on at home--I have my car, but that's at the shop, so I'm not able to do anything with that when I'm home. I want something to put together, or modify, or at least feel like I did something--even if it breaks, or whatever. Venice found solace in her job, where she has something to do. It's my perpetual "I don't have a purpose" rant right now. I'm just lacking in a reason to be here.
I am also seriously yearning again (oh noes) for a girlfriend. I know this is a bad idea, if past relationships and my own knowledge is anything on which to go. I just like having that companion that you can spend a bajillion hours with. I feel too spread out with different friend-groups, so a girlfriend would just center that, and have something to return to, the same dynamic, every time.
I've been in a funk all day. I'm sick, still, seven days later. It doesn't seem like it's bacterial, so I think I just have to deal with it until someone decides I've 'had enough.' It just puts a damper on everything...talking to people, going out, doing anything more than sitting at a computer. I just hope it goes away soon.
Today really sucked because I didn't do anything--anything. I applied for a few jobs, but it doesn't seem like anything was accomplished. I'll have to wait until tomorrow for any sort of reply to start coming in, anyway. I realized that I'm probably not going to get a stellar-paying job and kick start my life in good fashion right away. It really sucks. I just have this idea of what I'll need to live comfortably, and I don't really want to deviate from that--I don't want to live like I did in college, or like I'm doing at home, I want my own life, and the power, even if it is derived from how much money one makes.
I wish I had some sort of project I can work on at home--I have my car, but that's at the shop, so I'm not able to do anything with that when I'm home. I want something to put together, or modify, or at least feel like I did something--even if it breaks, or whatever. Venice found solace in her job, where she has something to do. It's my perpetual "I don't have a purpose" rant right now. I'm just lacking in a reason to be here.
I am also seriously yearning again (oh noes) for a girlfriend. I know this is a bad idea, if past relationships and my own knowledge is anything on which to go. I just like having that companion that you can spend a bajillion hours with. I feel too spread out with different friend-groups, so a girlfriend would just center that, and have something to return to, the same dynamic, every time.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kozmikgirl:
Oh my... all that talk has made me go cross-eyed
kozmikgirl: