hotpinkauras

I dont know why i wasted so many years of my life on stupid men. Or why i let my guard down to trust a man at all. always I though with my head and not my heart, until the last , almost 2 years now.

i dedicated every ounce f my being to a man i knew would never love me, cept just a little. Now its over, I know this, I feel it. I wrote him a letter, maybe a little hastily, but nothing like striking while the iron is still hot. I tld him i cant be second best. I worshiped him like a king, like a silly little girl.

He never was cruel or unkind bc we had no expectations of the other. He was always contradicting himself, though. I can be first, but never second best. I am letting go, and this one hurst like a knife stabbing me deep, so overwhelming that fear begins to creep...I can only do one thing and thats write, work, and send yout my letters to all of you, lol

This will be the first time in my life where I had n ther prospects to fall back on, no man waiting in the wings this time. I suppose its about time. Time to be alone.