hotelneptune

Okay, so I got the DJ gig for Sunday nights, and I'm sure it will be def, dope, fly, *and* stoopid... it also makes me feel slightly less depressed about missing Coachella day 2 this coming Sunday because I'm a poor bastard. I went out and bought some CDRs so I can start burning my CD collection and not have to worry about dragging 300+ CDs around with me wherever I go. So yeah. I'm learning basket weaving from the Pompeii women, which is a pretty fun hobby, but now all the men give me sideways glances at the market place and cough the word "Pussy!" when I passs by (except for this one fat, pasty guy at the bath-house who keeps winking at me). Dude, I just wanna buy some fuckin' grain to make bread with, you fuckers don't have to step on the backs of my sandals. Don't hate the playa... hate the game, Pompeii! I got a goat the other day for only seven chickens, which is a pretty good deal. I named him Big Ben... I'm going to set him up as a watch-goat outside my apartment, because my neighborhood is kinda ghetto. He's dirty gray and trots around behind me as I wander the city streets, and he loves eating apples and his own poo. Vesuvius has been grumbling a bit lately and shaking the ground, which upsets both Big Ben and the more sensitive city-folk. Everyone thinks they've angered their temperamental Gods in some way, but I tell them not to worry... their Gods aren't angry, it's just a natural phenomena primed to wipe out all life in Pompeii in a coupla weeks... a natural disaster that mankind will feel sympathetically tugging at their heart-strings whenever they hear the word "Pompeii." It has nothing to do with God or religion or spirituality. It has to do with humanity and the natural world. "Your ash-forged corpse-statues will become enduring symbols of human tragedy marked in history's pages and National Geographic specials alike until the end of time. Besides, new faiths will eventually unmask all your Gods as trivial myths and the fodder of multi-million dollar grossing animated Disney adaptations with obscenely lucrative marketing potential... and beyond that, by the 21st century faith in general will become a passing fad anyways, like reading," I tell them. "Gods come and go. But your terrified, pain-wrenched death throws will be preserved everlasting, and your mass-grave of a soon to be haunted city will become a very hot tourist spot indeed." They don't seem very reassured, and just kinda shuffle nervously, eyeing the grim, dark mountain above dwarfing their beloved Pompeii. I tell them to relax and weave some baskets. As for me, I'm weaving a gas mask... mephitic asphyxiation sounds like a real drag.