OK - now out of control again. Thinking husband losing it and feel further apart every day. Am frustrated by his very presence. Am unengaging. Losing interest in his needs and starting to imagin life without him. Probably won't happen but I don't think it's impossible. Why did I get married? OH right, to put someone else's needs before my own. Forever. Fuck that noise....
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Feeling more in control (whatever the hell that is) somehow. Am taking control of my life, the house, my own bitching. Keeping really busy. Feeling strong physically, and that I can accomplish a lot now if i keep my momentum going. Phew. Gawd it's nice getting out of a rut. Gotta shake the tree every now and again to kick your own ass. Husband unit...
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sluttygoodgirl:
That is a great feeling, getting some shit done! Glad the husband unit is back on the path to lifetime partnership. Haven't seen Touching the Void, but may have to check it out. Hope you got some sleep, it's not easy to come by with the little knee-biters runnin' the show.
Even I am tiring of my self-indulgent sulking. The road we (husband and I) have chosen to walk in our life is, perhaps, noble, but so challenging and almost defies being human. I don't mean that in an arrogant way, rather that it's a road that requires a lot of rationalizing. I feel guilty indulging in my ow petty problems when, in the bigger picture,...
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pica_pica:
I too am loving your words. Perhaps Mr. McCullough and Mrs. King had something going on that we didn't catch back then.
It's FRIDAY! I have the next two days to do not work things. I have some domestic things to deal with here, even after the amazing amount of domesticity I had to throw myself into last night.
(I came home from work to find that Morgan had a bout of explosive diarhea throughout the day. Couch, bed, kitchen, bathroom, living room,..... I'll stop the painting there.)
I would love to be able to hookup sometime over the next couple of days if you are free Ms Bonbon. Drop me a line through my "contact me" section on my page, and email me your phone number?
Looking forward to it.
It's FRIDAY! I have the next two days to do not work things. I have some domestic things to deal with here, even after the amazing amount of domesticity I had to throw myself into last night.
(I came home from work to find that Morgan had a bout of explosive diarhea throughout the day. Couch, bed, kitchen, bathroom, living room,..... I'll stop the painting there.)
I would love to be able to hookup sometime over the next couple of days if you are free Ms Bonbon. Drop me a line through my "contact me" section on my page, and email me your phone number?
Looking forward to it.
sluttygoodgirl:
What a rollercoaster, these things called marriage and parenting!! Such an intense mixture of the bitter, the sweet....the pain and the love....
Yah so you were right...a lot of it's been me being too impatient and frustrated etc.....we made up today. He really is sweet - just very stressed out and therefore quite spacy at home. I interpret it as stupid sometimes. Nice huh? These ups and downs with his business are getting very taxing....it's been three years with a kid thrown into the mix.....I believe in...
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Krist....marriage is hard. I'm having that 24 hour "the grass is greener" flu. I know what it's like on the other "side", but sometimes I really miss it. Not when I'm with my son, but when my husband thinks he's the only one on earth the planet revolves around. Fucker.
pica_pica:
heh heh, You know that in a couple of days you are probably going to feel totally different about that. He'll do something totally sweet...
right?
right?
OK PicaPica, thanks for reminding the rabble about Burns Day. Having married a Scot, this is the first year that we haven't hosted the infamous dinner. We attended our first dinner last weekend and will be attending our second this weekend. My first year with my Scot, I was introduced to the tradition of the Address to the Lassies, whick is followed by the Reply...
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sluttygoodgirl:
Haha, great job!!! Very very funny! I'm sure you must have kicked his ass with this one. 
Yes, the feelings that come with the parent/child relationship are way too complex and intense for me to ever be able to do them justice. But it feels good to let them out, let them flow as they come over me.....
Yes, the feelings that come with the parent/child relationship are way too complex and intense for me to ever be able to do them justice. But it feels good to let them out, let them flow as they come over me.....
I am on a rampage. Efficiency Nazi these days. Am cleaning up my life. Sort of an early spring thing but in the pishing rain in January.
I am a big believer in Feng Shui and all the other hairy fairy practices that influence our lives. If I clean the junk drawer I feel like taking out a newspaper ad and sharing the breaking news....
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I am a big believer in Feng Shui and all the other hairy fairy practices that influence our lives. If I clean the junk drawer I feel like taking out a newspaper ad and sharing the breaking news....
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sluttygoodgirl:
I just now saw your two posts to my journal from a few days ago! It is magic indeed, yes. 
So how did the dinner go? I love how you talk about your boy too, it sounds like just how I feel about mine. more later, i have to try to go back to sleep!!!!!
So how did the dinner go? I love how you talk about your boy too, it sounds like just how I feel about mine. more later, i have to try to go back to sleep!!!!!
sluttygoodgirl:
that scrap book you are making for your son sounds wonderful....
edited to add: this journal entry of yours is funny, made me laugh!
[Edited on Jan 24, 2005 3:10AM]
edited to add: this journal entry of yours is funny, made me laugh!
[Edited on Jan 24, 2005 3:10AM]
OK, not getting spousal support recently promised. My day off is still me doing everything including the kid thing in the morning. Makes me want to not be so nice to him sometimes. When does this balance thing kick in? Gawd I have to do something else or I'll surely go mad.
Feeling a bit better but still need to hone the whole family balance...
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Feeling a bit better but still need to hone the whole family balance...
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coolheart:
it's crazy, life is just the shits for so many people right now.
This has gotta stop.
This has gotta stop.
Still in mommy tailspin. Playdates, laundry, cleaning.......Calgon take me away.
sluttygoodgirl:
The Mommy tailspin, haha, I like that - perfect way to describe it. Hang in there.
[Edited on Jan 20, 2005 12:59AM]
[Edited on Jan 20, 2005 12:59AM]
So here I am in our tiny, chaotic office beside my sleeping son's room. I'm here by chance, but probably necessity. I'm trying to refigure out who I am. I've been a new mother for 14 months. It feels like I should have the hang of this by now, but I am not convinced I do. I look at other people with kid/s and wonder,...
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pica_pica:
I'm so happy to have you on board!
It may take a little bit to get your bearings, and you may trip across a couple of sections which are somewhat
, but I honestly hope you find the same cathartic purge here that hijacked my own mornings.
"Hey! Alright! Eeeeagles have the spirit to Fight!"
(F.E. Osborne grade 7 cheerleader chant)
It may take a little bit to get your bearings, and you may trip across a couple of sections which are somewhat
, but I honestly hope you find the same cathartic purge here that hijacked my own mornings.
"Hey! Alright! Eeeeagles have the spirit to Fight!"
(F.E. Osborne grade 7 cheerleader chant)
sluttygoodgirl:
Wow! I am on Pica_pica's friend list, and so I came over to say hi and welcome - but I wasn't prepared to be reading my own story in your journal. I am the mother of 3 children myself, 7 year old twins and a 2 year old. I identify with everything you wrote here. By the way, hello and welcome to SG.
I totally live by it.