14 more sleeps until we are in our new space. Our environment is so important. I've mentally checked out of our current home so much that I don't even see the walls any more. I'm going through some goodbyes. GB to the neighborhood. Took the Rabbit (my baby son) to see the ducks at Jerico today and breathe the sea air, gaze at the mountains and sky, clouds and all the vital energy that is nature. It was spectacular. It was just cold enough to put a red blush on his cheeks, not unlike the colour of a rose petal, and as soft and beautiful. I would pause only to scoot around the front of the stroller and kiss him repeatedly.
g'bye to this house, though it vexes me, was our first marital home. Stage to the good and bad of our short life together so far. The paper on which we penned our future dreams and aspirations to make this world just bit better than it was yesterday. The womb that kept us safe, warm and coddled as a family. The container of smells of favourite dinners, muffins for the baby (no sugar or wheat please!!! it's poison!!) and smells of my husband after he's left for work in the morning and I walk into the hall where he was last. The smell of him after his morning grooming is so familiar and comforting and possibly the strongest reminder of my unbreakable bond with him. The olfactory sense is surprisingly powerful. I can walk by one of our wedding photos with its Scottish countryside backdrop and not flinch. But fresh out of bed and into the hall where his cologne and natural scent still linger and I'm all but thrown against the wall, faint with desire and envy for anyone that is with him at that moment. SLAP!! Snap out of it!
So I pack the tangible, material items that represent our life into boxes made of the murdered trees we are trying so hard to save. Is this who we are ultimately? Geez, I hope not. But in some strange way we are. I unpacked and repacked Rabbit's baby clothes to either return to my sis-in-law, or lend to a friend who is due soon. I folded each and every item, stroked it, smelled it and recalled which ones were my favourites and which ones I wasn't so fond for. I remembered times he wore some things and how it made me see him in certain ways. Grown up or so babyish. Packing and moving is a wonderful and cheap form of therapy and purging, both literal and emotionally. You must physically touch, assess and reassign each item with what is innately, our emotion. What had value to us 1 year ago may have almost no value today. Tomorrow we may even resent it. Pica, you should do this soon. Spring is also the ideal time to start anew. Bloom. Bud. Be nourished and grow to a newness that can only be acheived by your intent. Be your own sun and water. I'm so excited to make a new home with memories just waiting to be experienced. I watched my son take his first bites and steps in this house and for that I am grateful. I will look forward to his first words and many other firsts that I'm sure I cannot even imagine. I will simply, look forward.
g'bye to this house, though it vexes me, was our first marital home. Stage to the good and bad of our short life together so far. The paper on which we penned our future dreams and aspirations to make this world just bit better than it was yesterday. The womb that kept us safe, warm and coddled as a family. The container of smells of favourite dinners, muffins for the baby (no sugar or wheat please!!! it's poison!!) and smells of my husband after he's left for work in the morning and I walk into the hall where he was last. The smell of him after his morning grooming is so familiar and comforting and possibly the strongest reminder of my unbreakable bond with him. The olfactory sense is surprisingly powerful. I can walk by one of our wedding photos with its Scottish countryside backdrop and not flinch. But fresh out of bed and into the hall where his cologne and natural scent still linger and I'm all but thrown against the wall, faint with desire and envy for anyone that is with him at that moment. SLAP!! Snap out of it!
So I pack the tangible, material items that represent our life into boxes made of the murdered trees we are trying so hard to save. Is this who we are ultimately? Geez, I hope not. But in some strange way we are. I unpacked and repacked Rabbit's baby clothes to either return to my sis-in-law, or lend to a friend who is due soon. I folded each and every item, stroked it, smelled it and recalled which ones were my favourites and which ones I wasn't so fond for. I remembered times he wore some things and how it made me see him in certain ways. Grown up or so babyish. Packing and moving is a wonderful and cheap form of therapy and purging, both literal and emotionally. You must physically touch, assess and reassign each item with what is innately, our emotion. What had value to us 1 year ago may have almost no value today. Tomorrow we may even resent it. Pica, you should do this soon. Spring is also the ideal time to start anew. Bloom. Bud. Be nourished and grow to a newness that can only be acheived by your intent. Be your own sun and water. I'm so excited to make a new home with memories just waiting to be experienced. I watched my son take his first bites and steps in this house and for that I am grateful. I will look forward to his first words and many other firsts that I'm sure I cannot even imagine. I will simply, look forward.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Thanks for a wonderful afternoon! It was totally refreshing to me in a few different ways.
One, it was freezing cold and I can barely type right now because my fingers aren't working,.. I'll call that "refreshing.
Two: I never do 'outdoor stuff' because it has yet to become my 21 day habit, but walking around out there this afternoon really made me understand how much I miss that kinda stuff, in a soul recharging sort of way.
Three: I really enjoyed the conversation.
Thanks again! It was great to meet the fam!