I hate Valentine's day, really I do...
Am I being bitter because the love of my life walked out on me for another, yeppers.
But I've always hated this fucking day anyway. If you truly love someone, why make just one day out of the year for it? Yeah, we have sweetest day, yet another fucking holiday that seems to be generated for buying shit for people, that no one really needs.
Don't get me wrong, I love buying shit for people, or making people stuff, but to say, on one day out of the year-to be reminded of how you should buy someone something, and then not have that person in your life anymore, it fucking hurts...
I fucking hurt, and I'm depressed, and I've been crying so much this evening, that I can't hardly stand it, and why? Because of this stupid fucking holiday. And again, I think if you truely love someone, than everyday should be special, and should be cherished, and not taken granted of, so why celebrate a day of recognizing it? Fuck it, I hate it....
I hurt so much, I don't want to think about anything anymore. I was watching a James Bond movie on AMC or some shit, and I started bawling my eyes out...I used to love watching James Bond flicks, so why the fuck did I start crying?
ARRRRGH, I'm just utterly confused and alone right now. The girl that left my life for another, works with me, and that makes it harder...plus...to top things fucking off, the guy she's seeing now, works with me too....fucking eh...I swear, somebody up there fucking hates me...
And yeah, I realize that everything happens for a reason, but fuck man, I hurt so much, more than I ever have, and it gets WORSE each fucking day...I can't stop myself from crying...I've had to excuse myself at work a few times, to our office, to cry in privacy, and it fucking sucks....
Everyone says that it'll get better, but it's getting fucking worse, not better, but fucking worse...which is why I'm writing this bullshit journal entry, to vent...but fuck I feel like fucking shit....
All because of this fucking Valentine's shit.....
I still love this woman, even knowing that she's lied to me, and purposely decieved me for the affections of another man. And why? Because he's better looking than me, and fuck...come on man, if she ever fucking truely loved me, for which I feel the most pain, why would she do this? The answer, she never really did, and that fucking hurts the worst.
I wouldn't inflict this pain upon my worst enemy, and yet two people who I thought highly of, stab me in the fucking back, and destroy me for their own satisfaction...and that fucking hurts.
So much fusking hurts right now, I don't know where to end this journal entry...my guess is, I'll wake up in the morning feeling better, but the pain and thoughts will continue to grow inside of me as the day passes, and I will end the night in complete sorrow again....
Sorry, just had to vent...this is the risk you take in falling in love...fuck it....
Am I being bitter because the love of my life walked out on me for another, yeppers.
But I've always hated this fucking day anyway. If you truly love someone, why make just one day out of the year for it? Yeah, we have sweetest day, yet another fucking holiday that seems to be generated for buying shit for people, that no one really needs.
Don't get me wrong, I love buying shit for people, or making people stuff, but to say, on one day out of the year-to be reminded of how you should buy someone something, and then not have that person in your life anymore, it fucking hurts...
I fucking hurt, and I'm depressed, and I've been crying so much this evening, that I can't hardly stand it, and why? Because of this stupid fucking holiday. And again, I think if you truely love someone, than everyday should be special, and should be cherished, and not taken granted of, so why celebrate a day of recognizing it? Fuck it, I hate it....
I hurt so much, I don't want to think about anything anymore. I was watching a James Bond movie on AMC or some shit, and I started bawling my eyes out...I used to love watching James Bond flicks, so why the fuck did I start crying?
ARRRRGH, I'm just utterly confused and alone right now. The girl that left my life for another, works with me, and that makes it harder...plus...to top things fucking off, the guy she's seeing now, works with me too....fucking eh...I swear, somebody up there fucking hates me...
And yeah, I realize that everything happens for a reason, but fuck man, I hurt so much, more than I ever have, and it gets WORSE each fucking day...I can't stop myself from crying...I've had to excuse myself at work a few times, to our office, to cry in privacy, and it fucking sucks....
Everyone says that it'll get better, but it's getting fucking worse, not better, but fucking worse...which is why I'm writing this bullshit journal entry, to vent...but fuck I feel like fucking shit....
All because of this fucking Valentine's shit.....
I still love this woman, even knowing that she's lied to me, and purposely decieved me for the affections of another man. And why? Because he's better looking than me, and fuck...come on man, if she ever fucking truely loved me, for which I feel the most pain, why would she do this? The answer, she never really did, and that fucking hurts the worst.
I wouldn't inflict this pain upon my worst enemy, and yet two people who I thought highly of, stab me in the fucking back, and destroy me for their own satisfaction...and that fucking hurts.
So much fusking hurts right now, I don't know where to end this journal entry...my guess is, I'll wake up in the morning feeling better, but the pain and thoughts will continue to grow inside of me as the day passes, and I will end the night in complete sorrow again....
Sorry, just had to vent...this is the risk you take in falling in love...fuck it....
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I sort of love Santino even though he is an arrogant ass. His Timpressions are so so so great. His interviews make me want to slap him. At least his runway show won't be boring. We'll just see if everything falls off of the models as they're walking!