horrordarling

It feels good to be alive again. Or perhaps I'm a waking zombie. I just want to feel like a part of the whole and I never am certain if I am, really.

I compare my life to others. Which is better, which is worse? Can there really be any comparison?

Is it possible to be in discontent with contentness? Do I ever really make sense to myself?

Everything is a question I can't provide answers for. I know I really shouldn't be posting this on a porn site since really, who the fuck cares...but anyway, this is for me. For once, this is for me.

I've just discovered that my unhappiness is due to the fact that I'm trying to be everyone else but me; and I think I'm ready to accept that.

Fuck getting drunk. Fuck trying to fit in. Fuck it all.

I'm okay with being here at home. I'm okay with keeping myself company. I'm not a rock star, I'm not celebrity. I'm not emo, punk rock, psycho, indie or anything at all for that matter.

I'm just fucking myself. Deal with it. I have.