hornitos

it seems as if my journal entries have been somewhat sexually explicit lately. . and maybe i should i apologize for that , but to tell the truth. . that's the weirdest shit that's been happening to me lately.
for instance!

last night . .an old girlfriend came to visit me. . i'm talking 'old' girlfriend .
like high school old .. we never even had sex or anything

she lives far away. . she came to see me once b4 and we went out and had a few drinks, and i gave her a kiss goodnight , but that's all that happened.

well this time it's obvious . .she has more planned for me. . as soon as she gets in the door she asks to take a shower and when she gets out i offer her food or drink etc. . and i make her an avocado and cheese burrito and give her a newcastle . .and then when i go to sit on the couch, ,she snuggles up besides me and holds my hand and what not. . and after a few minutes of kissing and such , ,she says. . she wants to go lie down because she's tired from her drive. . so, we go to the bedroom and continue kissing etc. .
and after a few minutes, she's putting her hand down my pants. .and i'm thinking. . ok. .that's the sign!

so . . we get naked and sooner or later we start to . .you know

but , her legs are like locked in this straight position, and i guess due to my shortcomings, i'm barely in there.
and after a couple of minutes . . i try to gently lift one of her legs. . but she ain't budging!

so, i go ahead and ask her to lift up one of her legs . .and she gives me this look , like " what are you talking about ?"

and she like barely raises a leg. . and. . i don't really feel comfortable giving instructions to somebody .. so i'm just going with the flow. . but it's not really happening. .and i'm starting to lose interest . .
ok so the weird thing about this is , when our clothes were on , she was all grabbing my peener and such. . and as soon as we got naked . .she never touched it once!
i mean, even though i kinda lost interest in what we were doing , i still did other things to her to make sure she was at least enjoying herself. .but she never even made an effort to try to please me. . it was a kinda frustrating evening.

now, you might think . she was only after a good ol boink. . but, no. .she actually wants some type of long-distance relationship. .

but i don't think that's gonna happen. .
btw, she has the biggest fuckin' chi-chi's ever!
i'm talking pillows!. . they're fuckin' huge!
i tried not to give them all my attention. .but it was difficult. .

i have no one else to tell these things to. . so . . basically i'm telling them to myself , so i can try understand what the hell just happened to me. . and if anybody's reading this . . sorry about that