Ok, the VEGAS UPDATE!!!
Well, i landed and then waited for Maxx to land. We rented a car and headed over to buy copious amounts of liquor. Half gallons of Ketel one are better than porn. Then we ate some Korean BBQ. We drank 2 sparks waiting in the check-in line. That's why Vegas rules. We had to wait for Tawnya, Supremepizzaman, and Tawnya's Mary to get there. So we hung out and drank.
Once those fuckers got there, we went out to karaoke with the SGvegas group. Specifically, only their leader showed up, long enough to leave with a piece of ass. The good news? The ex Lilyk, and the ex ms. subrosa were there!!! Lilyk was getting hitched the next day. So, we got to see people we hadn't seen in two years. Maxx hitting on bridesmaids while i randomly come up to fuck up his game is a really fun game. The karaoke was hot, and so were we. Maxx left to go lose money. Then we went to old town to eat the "steak and shrimp unadvertised special" our cabby told us about. Well, we soon find out that there is NO special.
I said fuck while our waiter was standing there and he was offended. Here's a thought: if you work at a Vegas restaurant at 3 AM, THERE WILL BE SWEARING!!!! So, we got a different waiter. T-bag and i ate the weridest steak eggs benedict EVER. It had a spice in the sauce i have only tasted in Vietnamese cooking. The karaoke was HORRIBLE for my throat. I was hating life the next morning.
Saturday, we went to Caesars to eat their buffet. It was really good, but our waiter sucked ass. I think we watied almost 20 minutes for a check we asked for. No tip for you! Then, we did a bit of looking around., including playing chopsticks on FAOs huge piano of course. We took the only picture of the whole trip: an amazing woman with HUGE hair and horrible makeup playing slots. We went back and gambled for a bit, and took a nap. I was feeling crappy, and i don't drink much. I was lured there with talk of ass eating however.....and those promises were not kept. Maxx was still in bed from gambling until the wee hours of morning. He stunk like whiskey and disapointment.
For dinner, we went to the STAR TREK experience!! That was fun, i drank while maxx looked green. The others were riding the rides........Maxx and i got to see the most amazing thing ever: a woman crying into her onion rings while talking with her friend! So out of place in a fun theme bar. There's no crying at Quarks bar!! Dinner was actually really good! Then we all found out how old we are. We stayed in the hotel room on a Saturday night in Vegas. Pizzaman had a headache, i was sick, and tawnya was tired. So, the other boys went gambling and we ordered late room service and bought a movie. EXCITING!!
Sunday was my birthday!!!! I woke up with an ear infection. All i wanted was a delicious waffle with strawberries for breakfast. We headed over to the Paris........no breakfast. Then we walked down to the Venitian. Well, i was feeling shitty, and i was walking quickly. Everyone else was strolling.....AAAHHH!! Tawnya and i got a shopping trip to sephora. I spent a hundred on myself for my birthday, and T-bag got me some delicious chocolate smelling perfume!
We got to the restaurant, and it was more horrible service!!! Why is it that towns with jobs based in service do it horribly?? Honolulu, and Vegas suck at it. Anyway, i got a strawberry pastry and my ear was starting to KILL me. I am sure the rest of the party thought i was a total bitch. I was miserable. After lunch we walked around shopping for shit we'll never be able to afford. Some of those companies make gross looking shit. I headed back to sleep. I was supposed to pick up my dad at the airport..........when he called i told him there was no way. My ear hurt so badly that when i lay down, i cried from the pressure. He took a cab, i went back to sleep. Tawnya and pizzaman came over to see how i was doing.....tawnys brought drugs!!! Yay for vicoden. When my dad got there, i got ear numbing drops and raw garlic. There was no way i was spending my birthday in a Vegas urgent care.
We went back and got ready for dinner. We dressed up and were looking good. We went to the Wynn and had delicious prime rib dinner. The crew got to see what an asshole my dad is.
Now for the best part:
Then, it was off to see some titties. We went to old town first........and they wanted $20 per person to get in. Fuck off! No way would ipay that plus expensive drinks AND tipping unless you had Chassie Lane in there. So, we got a cab........and we asked the cabbie what he suggested for places that don't charge a crazy cover, but are not too ghetto. He told us: Larrys villa. Well, Larrys villa is THE WORST strip club i have ever been to. We sat at the stage, and waited about ten minutes for there to be any girls dancing. When we asked for change??? THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY ONES!!!!! Seriously, a titty bar without ones??? One of them was talking to a dude at the bar.....and when she was called to come up? Yelled back that she had gone home. Finally the DJ gets her up there.......and she sort of humps the florr by this dude........and hangs out talking to him the rest of the song. Never took off her clothes, never came down to our end. The next girl?? Was a total crackwhore. REALLY skinny, and looks older in the face than she is. I gave her a dollar because at least she was fucking dancing! She licked my neck!!!
I almost asked Tawnya to hand me a wipe. We finally tokk in into our own hands.....by that i mean that T-bag told the DJ that if he played Motorhead, "the redhead might get up on stage." No way would i touch that herpes infested stage! It was nice that Tawnya and i were the hottest bitches there. The last girl had worse stretch marks than me and confessed that she had been drinking tequila and didn't want to fall on us. But, at least we were listening to motorhead. We left after that. I think the first girl got fired while we were there. We had to call a cab to come and get us! That cabby comped us into another WAY better club. 50 or so girls, most of them good looking. Now here's the weird part about that club: Not ONE of the 50 girls asked ANY of us if we wanted a dance. It was my birthday, and not one asked. When Tawnya asked the bouncer why, his response was: "Some of the girls are weird." What the fuck does that mean?!?!?!
Monday, we all had breakfast and everyone left me. Then, i worked for 2 days, and hit an amazing Macys sale.
Did i mention that Maxx was up $2,200.00, lost it, and then fled Vegas?
Well, i landed and then waited for Maxx to land. We rented a car and headed over to buy copious amounts of liquor. Half gallons of Ketel one are better than porn. Then we ate some Korean BBQ. We drank 2 sparks waiting in the check-in line. That's why Vegas rules. We had to wait for Tawnya, Supremepizzaman, and Tawnya's Mary to get there. So we hung out and drank.
Once those fuckers got there, we went out to karaoke with the SGvegas group. Specifically, only their leader showed up, long enough to leave with a piece of ass. The good news? The ex Lilyk, and the ex ms. subrosa were there!!! Lilyk was getting hitched the next day. So, we got to see people we hadn't seen in two years. Maxx hitting on bridesmaids while i randomly come up to fuck up his game is a really fun game. The karaoke was hot, and so were we. Maxx left to go lose money. Then we went to old town to eat the "steak and shrimp unadvertised special" our cabby told us about. Well, we soon find out that there is NO special.
I said fuck while our waiter was standing there and he was offended. Here's a thought: if you work at a Vegas restaurant at 3 AM, THERE WILL BE SWEARING!!!! So, we got a different waiter. T-bag and i ate the weridest steak eggs benedict EVER. It had a spice in the sauce i have only tasted in Vietnamese cooking. The karaoke was HORRIBLE for my throat. I was hating life the next morning.
Saturday, we went to Caesars to eat their buffet. It was really good, but our waiter sucked ass. I think we watied almost 20 minutes for a check we asked for. No tip for you! Then, we did a bit of looking around., including playing chopsticks on FAOs huge piano of course. We took the only picture of the whole trip: an amazing woman with HUGE hair and horrible makeup playing slots. We went back and gambled for a bit, and took a nap. I was feeling crappy, and i don't drink much. I was lured there with talk of ass eating however.....and those promises were not kept. Maxx was still in bed from gambling until the wee hours of morning. He stunk like whiskey and disapointment.
For dinner, we went to the STAR TREK experience!! That was fun, i drank while maxx looked green. The others were riding the rides........Maxx and i got to see the most amazing thing ever: a woman crying into her onion rings while talking with her friend! So out of place in a fun theme bar. There's no crying at Quarks bar!! Dinner was actually really good! Then we all found out how old we are. We stayed in the hotel room on a Saturday night in Vegas. Pizzaman had a headache, i was sick, and tawnya was tired. So, the other boys went gambling and we ordered late room service and bought a movie. EXCITING!!
Sunday was my birthday!!!! I woke up with an ear infection. All i wanted was a delicious waffle with strawberries for breakfast. We headed over to the Paris........no breakfast. Then we walked down to the Venitian. Well, i was feeling shitty, and i was walking quickly. Everyone else was strolling.....AAAHHH!! Tawnya and i got a shopping trip to sephora. I spent a hundred on myself for my birthday, and T-bag got me some delicious chocolate smelling perfume!
We got to the restaurant, and it was more horrible service!!! Why is it that towns with jobs based in service do it horribly?? Honolulu, and Vegas suck at it. Anyway, i got a strawberry pastry and my ear was starting to KILL me. I am sure the rest of the party thought i was a total bitch. I was miserable. After lunch we walked around shopping for shit we'll never be able to afford. Some of those companies make gross looking shit. I headed back to sleep. I was supposed to pick up my dad at the airport..........when he called i told him there was no way. My ear hurt so badly that when i lay down, i cried from the pressure. He took a cab, i went back to sleep. Tawnya and pizzaman came over to see how i was doing.....tawnys brought drugs!!! Yay for vicoden. When my dad got there, i got ear numbing drops and raw garlic. There was no way i was spending my birthday in a Vegas urgent care.
We went back and got ready for dinner. We dressed up and were looking good. We went to the Wynn and had delicious prime rib dinner. The crew got to see what an asshole my dad is.
Now for the best part:
Then, it was off to see some titties. We went to old town first........and they wanted $20 per person to get in. Fuck off! No way would ipay that plus expensive drinks AND tipping unless you had Chassie Lane in there. So, we got a cab........and we asked the cabbie what he suggested for places that don't charge a crazy cover, but are not too ghetto. He told us: Larrys villa. Well, Larrys villa is THE WORST strip club i have ever been to. We sat at the stage, and waited about ten minutes for there to be any girls dancing. When we asked for change??? THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY ONES!!!!! Seriously, a titty bar without ones??? One of them was talking to a dude at the bar.....and when she was called to come up? Yelled back that she had gone home. Finally the DJ gets her up there.......and she sort of humps the florr by this dude........and hangs out talking to him the rest of the song. Never took off her clothes, never came down to our end. The next girl?? Was a total crackwhore. REALLY skinny, and looks older in the face than she is. I gave her a dollar because at least she was fucking dancing! She licked my neck!!!
I almost asked Tawnya to hand me a wipe. We finally tokk in into our own hands.....by that i mean that T-bag told the DJ that if he played Motorhead, "the redhead might get up on stage." No way would i touch that herpes infested stage! It was nice that Tawnya and i were the hottest bitches there. The last girl had worse stretch marks than me and confessed that she had been drinking tequila and didn't want to fall on us. But, at least we were listening to motorhead. We left after that. I think the first girl got fired while we were there. We had to call a cab to come and get us! That cabby comped us into another WAY better club. 50 or so girls, most of them good looking. Now here's the weird part about that club: Not ONE of the 50 girls asked ANY of us if we wanted a dance. It was my birthday, and not one asked. When Tawnya asked the bouncer why, his response was: "Some of the girls are weird." What the fuck does that mean?!?!?!
Monday, we all had breakfast and everyone left me. Then, i worked for 2 days, and hit an amazing Macys sale.
Did i mention that Maxx was up $2,200.00, lost it, and then fled Vegas?
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How you doin?
2. I think he did.
3. Oh man. I don't know if I can choose. Maybe we could just narrow it down to a cuisine, and then each make one dish.