So....
I am bored.
And in, perhaps, one of the worst moods of my life.
My ex and I had briefly chatted over the concept of getting back together and then shit went down, as always. Of course, this time he had no decency at all, so begin the ranting... He changed his answering machine message to include the fact that he is now seeing a girl. He can't even pick up the phone to tell me to go to hell, so he puts it on the fucking answering machine. I have a severe problem with this.. He is doing it to hurt me so I naturally pretended not to care when I left him a message.
[Just for a little bit of backstory, this boy may or may not have tried to kill me once. I'm not so sure what the real intent there had to have been. However, the time that we were together was probably some of the best times of my life and I think about it all the time no matter how hard I try. So, we were kind of engaged at one point, he asked me to run off and marry him, and I said yes, but meant no, and this was where all the trouble really seemed to start. I've refused to give up all the plans that I made for my life for him, and I suppose he has a right to be miffed, but his life is infinitely boring, and going nowhere. He lives in the middle of nowhere in TN, and my plans are more along the lines of.. I dunno. Not that. I can't stand all that wide open space. I feel awful about the way things have gone with us, one of us screws things up, and then we fix things, and then screw them up again. I wish I didn't like his mother so much, we bonded the last time that I was staying there. It's hard to forget the good times, even if there were so many bad times as well. He was the first person that ever really made me feel special... Told me that I was beautiful, said that he loved me and made me believe that he meant it. Kissing him always brought a smile to my face no matter how awful of a mood I was in, and while one minute we'd be at each other's throats, the next minute we could be holding hands and laughing..]
Meanwhile I started ranting to the most wonderful and understanding person that I know, DarthLunchbox.
I don't really deserve to have someone quite so wonderful in my life, and he's putting up with a whole lot of shit from me. I'm just so hung up on the ex, that I feel like I'm hurting him, and I know that I must be.. But.. He tells me that I'm not.. Argh. Anyhow..
Ow. I just found a huge piece of glass in my toe. This day just keeps getting better and better.
Uhm...
Since I've been back from my travels out of the country, I've since gotten another tattoo and pierced my nipples. The tattoo is still a work in progress, a Day of the Dead skull, and I'm planning on having some wings added to it in a few weeks. Pictures to come as soon as some are taken. My nipples aren't feeling too great, so I'm a little bit saddened by this. They're massively tender and sore and right now, I would say that they are the bane of my existence. Well...
No, moving to New York is the bane of my existence.. I need to be settled by about September 20th, and I haven't made any progress in finding an apartment in the city.. I'm relatively screwed, I think. I don't really have any of the shit that I'm going to have to take up there with me, and funds are starting to get low. ( Though, I suppose I need to stop doing stupid things like blowing my cash on tattoos, or maybe I just need to beg my family to kick in some cash to the moving fund. )
I'm at adrenelinriot's place at the moment. Her family decided to flee the country for a few days and left her to keep house because a plummer was coming. We're just chillin' out, doing nothing at all interesting. So far there has been some bong (Cran-Apple juice instead of water. That was nice. Mhm. Niiiiice) fun times, coupled with a girls night, (Five chicks just sitting around chillin' out, stoned as fuck, and eating) but not that much else to report.
I think we're all gonna go and try to make something to eat, so I'm out for now.
Oh. Right. Might dye my hair later... Not sure. Just something else to do. Yah.
To steal a phrase (which I actually hate), love, peace and chicken grease!
Whee, well, PS, new gripe. adrenelinriot's friends can't cook! Ew! Aside from putting a shitload of onions in the food, there was this overwhelming amount of butter in the sauce, with garlic, pesto, and canned tomato. Please gag me. I think I'm going to go puke.
I am bored.
And in, perhaps, one of the worst moods of my life.
My ex and I had briefly chatted over the concept of getting back together and then shit went down, as always. Of course, this time he had no decency at all, so begin the ranting... He changed his answering machine message to include the fact that he is now seeing a girl. He can't even pick up the phone to tell me to go to hell, so he puts it on the fucking answering machine. I have a severe problem with this.. He is doing it to hurt me so I naturally pretended not to care when I left him a message.
[Just for a little bit of backstory, this boy may or may not have tried to kill me once. I'm not so sure what the real intent there had to have been. However, the time that we were together was probably some of the best times of my life and I think about it all the time no matter how hard I try. So, we were kind of engaged at one point, he asked me to run off and marry him, and I said yes, but meant no, and this was where all the trouble really seemed to start. I've refused to give up all the plans that I made for my life for him, and I suppose he has a right to be miffed, but his life is infinitely boring, and going nowhere. He lives in the middle of nowhere in TN, and my plans are more along the lines of.. I dunno. Not that. I can't stand all that wide open space. I feel awful about the way things have gone with us, one of us screws things up, and then we fix things, and then screw them up again. I wish I didn't like his mother so much, we bonded the last time that I was staying there. It's hard to forget the good times, even if there were so many bad times as well. He was the first person that ever really made me feel special... Told me that I was beautiful, said that he loved me and made me believe that he meant it. Kissing him always brought a smile to my face no matter how awful of a mood I was in, and while one minute we'd be at each other's throats, the next minute we could be holding hands and laughing..]
Meanwhile I started ranting to the most wonderful and understanding person that I know, DarthLunchbox.
I don't really deserve to have someone quite so wonderful in my life, and he's putting up with a whole lot of shit from me. I'm just so hung up on the ex, that I feel like I'm hurting him, and I know that I must be.. But.. He tells me that I'm not.. Argh. Anyhow..
Ow. I just found a huge piece of glass in my toe. This day just keeps getting better and better.
Uhm...
Since I've been back from my travels out of the country, I've since gotten another tattoo and pierced my nipples. The tattoo is still a work in progress, a Day of the Dead skull, and I'm planning on having some wings added to it in a few weeks. Pictures to come as soon as some are taken. My nipples aren't feeling too great, so I'm a little bit saddened by this. They're massively tender and sore and right now, I would say that they are the bane of my existence. Well...
No, moving to New York is the bane of my existence.. I need to be settled by about September 20th, and I haven't made any progress in finding an apartment in the city.. I'm relatively screwed, I think. I don't really have any of the shit that I'm going to have to take up there with me, and funds are starting to get low. ( Though, I suppose I need to stop doing stupid things like blowing my cash on tattoos, or maybe I just need to beg my family to kick in some cash to the moving fund. )
I'm at adrenelinriot's place at the moment. Her family decided to flee the country for a few days and left her to keep house because a plummer was coming. We're just chillin' out, doing nothing at all interesting. So far there has been some bong (Cran-Apple juice instead of water. That was nice. Mhm. Niiiiice) fun times, coupled with a girls night, (Five chicks just sitting around chillin' out, stoned as fuck, and eating) but not that much else to report.
I think we're all gonna go and try to make something to eat, so I'm out for now.
Oh. Right. Might dye my hair later... Not sure. Just something else to do. Yah.
To steal a phrase (which I actually hate), love, peace and chicken grease!
Whee, well, PS, new gripe. adrenelinriot's friends can't cook! Ew! Aside from putting a shitload of onions in the food, there was this overwhelming amount of butter in the sauce, with garlic, pesto, and canned tomato. Please gag me. I think I'm going to go puke.
allied:
Sorry that the drama persists with the ex. That's always hard and never fun. Why is it that humans hurt the ones they used to love? It's one thing if they *want* to be hurt (nudge, nudge, wink, wink... LOL!) but it's amazing that we just seem to do wrong shit to people we are, or were, close to. Hang in there; good luck with the move. 