Well... today has been a whirlwind of emotions...
Tad was at my house and Tim called to see if he could bring me my mail and talk. I told Tad what was going on and sent him to the gym early so I could see what Tim wanted. Sit down and put your seat belts on cause he came to ask if I would MARRY him. and I told him no. He continued to beg for a couple of hours. I sent him home and went to his sister's. He came back over and told me how happy he would make me and how he wanted to get married soon and have kids in the next 2 years. He talked about vacations and camping with Shiloh and our kids. And all I could think about was Tad. How fucked in the head am I?? I've only known Tad for 2 weeks and already he's got me so sprung its not even funny. In 2 weeks he made me forget about how much I wanted to be with Tim and how much I wanted Tim to be the man I needed him to be. I cannot believe that I'm ok with starting all over with this guy. Before I would have ran back to Tim but I can't put my heart on the line again. I took a broken heart to battle with my mind and my heart lost out to reason. There are to many walls between Tim and I. I can't go through breaking them down again. Tad has gotten through more than enough to make my heart end up in my stomach when he makes a silly face at me or touches my hand. I can't get his friends and family out of my head. I want to be in his life and him in mine. My friends and "family" already love him more than they loved Tim. Tad is so much nicer to them than Tim was. . . . . . . . . . was... here we go with the past tense again. . . . . . . . .
all over 2 weeks. . . . .
am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
or did I just miss my chance to be someones everything?
Tad was at my house and Tim called to see if he could bring me my mail and talk. I told Tad what was going on and sent him to the gym early so I could see what Tim wanted. Sit down and put your seat belts on cause he came to ask if I would MARRY him. and I told him no. He continued to beg for a couple of hours. I sent him home and went to his sister's. He came back over and told me how happy he would make me and how he wanted to get married soon and have kids in the next 2 years. He talked about vacations and camping with Shiloh and our kids. And all I could think about was Tad. How fucked in the head am I?? I've only known Tad for 2 weeks and already he's got me so sprung its not even funny. In 2 weeks he made me forget about how much I wanted to be with Tim and how much I wanted Tim to be the man I needed him to be. I cannot believe that I'm ok with starting all over with this guy. Before I would have ran back to Tim but I can't put my heart on the line again. I took a broken heart to battle with my mind and my heart lost out to reason. There are to many walls between Tim and I. I can't go through breaking them down again. Tad has gotten through more than enough to make my heart end up in my stomach when he makes a silly face at me or touches my hand. I can't get his friends and family out of my head. I want to be in his life and him in mine. My friends and "family" already love him more than they loved Tim. Tad is so much nicer to them than Tim was. . . . . . . . . . was... here we go with the past tense again. . . . . . . . .
all over 2 weeks. . . . .
am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
or did I just miss my chance to be someones everything?
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Mrs. Flow