honorofgalahad

Clumsy with words. I don't even have the excuse of having been dropped on my head as a child.

I used to be very good with words. I think i hit my pinnacle in my personal grasp of the english language about 3 years ago. I was at the local community college and had been for a while. I was plowing through english classes and philosophy classes and sociology and psychology.

For a breif minute, it seemed like I could talk without offending anyone.

Since then, however, i've steadily lost my grip. I feel really BAD when someone is upset with me. In general, i go well out of my way so that people only think of me in a positive light. Further, i try and work on my flaws that people find detrimental to friendships and more, in myself, every day. And yet, as time passes, I offend and upset people more frequently (not the same people. No one burns bridges like I do) and am left shaking my head surprised and confused.

I want to blame it on the fact/belief that I'm just a brutally honest person. I want to say, people don't like that when I say something, I mean it and i'll go bat for it. But does anyone not like an honest person? Do people want to be lied to most of the time? I understand the concept of not walking up to a fat person and saying, "you're fat." that's rude and dumb. But if someone comes up to me and asks, "how do I look?" and the only positive thing I see is her hair, so I say, "I love the hair! It's got great body and color." and then she gets mad at me... What am I supposed to do?

The reason people don't give constructive critism is because it is still critism, and it pisses people off. Another of my faults, i always try and be constructive, even when people just want to be told, "oh ya, you're awesome!" I just don't seem to be able to get the distinction between when a person does something and it's "perfect for them" and when it's "a work in progress."

As a great poet/author once said, "A poem is only done when the poet is dead."

Yes, I am an idiot. I changed my profile today to reflect today's outlook.

Oh, and speaking of outlook, THAT could be the reason. People don't like Pessimists and Realists (there is a subtle but important difference). I try and be a realist. Telling myself "it's going to be alright if you just do what you're told and what you're supposed to." Well, in my experience, that's been a crock of shit. When I see a goal, I look around for how others have achieved it and emulate. If it takes hard work, i do the hard work. If it takes the right connections, I try and get the right connections. And if it isn't going to happen, i say fuck it and don't bother.

So, you know what, I'm sorry if i've pissed you off. More than likely, I just said something that was meant to help or be honest, but in a positive way or in a way you wanted to hear. I make mistakes, and frequently. I'm sorry.

Here's a question i need to know. When my month of time i purchased is up, does it automatically draw funds from my account to re-up or does it close my account and i repurchase with my credit card?

And the random fun question for the day is, what is the name of your computer?

And, i changed my picture again because someone didn't like it. I don't have any good pictures of me right now, so we'll have to just enjoy The Rock.