I am so sore!!
On Saturday the Lost Boy and I went to the gym together. I am a cardio junkie, and I thought it was time to add some weights into my routine, so I had the Lost boy play trainer. Damn it was embarassing. I was bitching over 5 pound weights. I have no upper arm strength at all. I am like a kangaroo-all my power is in my legs. Anyway, I worked out my arms and chest and back, and I am still sore, and now I feel like I can really say "Weight lifting sucks cock!!" That shit hurts so fucking bad, and I don't fancy having another go at it, but alas, Tthe Lost Boy is taking back for more torture tonight after work
. On the plus side, I like the time I get to spend with him because he is so damn hot and all 
Anyway, I have serious shit to acomplish today for work, and I still am going to my own gym to run like a race horse before my night workout with Keith. Now those who are super kind and sweet will probably say from my picture I look like I don;t need to work out that much-if so, THANKS!!!!. But really, that picture was taken last August. Last August I was smoking a lot of pot, and doing a lot of uppers and some other heart pumping stuff too. When I stopped doing all that crap, I spent a nice winter eating a lot of ice cream and doritos. I worked out still, but I didn't watch my diet. Now that I want to be a suicide girl and also may get another go-go job with my friend Brian, I need to get back in shape a.s.a.p. So, I have been trying to force myself to watch what I eat and that all my workouts are good.
I had a eating disorder when I was 17, and well, while I believe you do not get over those things, I am nowhere as in a bad way like I was a few years back. We are talking 90somthin pounds, working out for 4-5 hours on knees that were beginning to tare-to this day I can tell when its going to rain way before I can smell it, because my knees begin to ache like a old person. I went for 128 pounds to 120 in a month, then in another month, I was done to 108. I went between 103-108 most of my senior year until I really lost it and started dipping into the 90's. Ii am only 5'4, and have very small bones(you can tell by it your index finger and thumb can wrap around your wrist). But the main thing was I was very malnourished. I would eat prunes and those calcium chew supplemnts for a month, then binge on cereal( I am allergic to that stuff) then go back to prunes and I honestly do not remember the year 2001 very well. I was a laxitive junkie. Sometime around June, 19 years old I said "theres got to be a better way."
I think there were a lot of factors to my anorexia, but even if I didn't have all those childhood traumas I think I would of still got sick. I went to this upscale liberal arts private school, and was 1 of five or six students who was a minority. That never really bothered me at all, but I never felt like I was ever in the running to be considered attractive, even when people told me they thought I was pretty. In the end, I will always think its my "winning" personality that attracts people and not my looks. In high school, while I kept my thoughts to myself about it, I always felt guilty for having a rag, or boobs, which none fo my friends had. The ironic thing is when I lost all the weight and my period stopped, my friends started to get their rags and thier boobs, and I guess it jusy goes to show you following the "crowd" never really works out well. I just started to get my rag on a more reguralr basis now, and sometimes I still find that hard to deal with. When I moved away from my home town and lived with all those college kids last year my self esteem actually sky rocketed. First of all, I got a better view of women, and their shapes and what not. I started to see myself clearly. Also, workin as a stripper helped my self esteem. I began to value having tits for one thing, and suddenly I found myself very happy I had a ass. Like I said, I don't know.what I learned from the whole thing is really that no matter how hot you are, it doesn't matter if your attitude sucks, and I would like to say, I sucked as a person when Ii was sick. I still sorta suck as a person, but I was a lot meaner, and anal when I was super focused on my external self.
Ok, well maybe I can cancel my therapy for this week because I just unleashed a wallop!!
Time for me to bounce.
PEACE
On Saturday the Lost Boy and I went to the gym together. I am a cardio junkie, and I thought it was time to add some weights into my routine, so I had the Lost boy play trainer. Damn it was embarassing. I was bitching over 5 pound weights. I have no upper arm strength at all. I am like a kangaroo-all my power is in my legs. Anyway, I worked out my arms and chest and back, and I am still sore, and now I feel like I can really say "Weight lifting sucks cock!!" That shit hurts so fucking bad, and I don't fancy having another go at it, but alas, Tthe Lost Boy is taking back for more torture tonight after work
. On the plus side, I like the time I get to spend with him because he is so damn hot and all
Anyway, I have serious shit to acomplish today for work, and I still am going to my own gym to run like a race horse before my night workout with Keith. Now those who are super kind and sweet will probably say from my picture I look like I don;t need to work out that much-if so, THANKS!!!!. But really, that picture was taken last August. Last August I was smoking a lot of pot, and doing a lot of uppers and some other heart pumping stuff too. When I stopped doing all that crap, I spent a nice winter eating a lot of ice cream and doritos. I worked out still, but I didn't watch my diet. Now that I want to be a suicide girl and also may get another go-go job with my friend Brian, I need to get back in shape a.s.a.p. So, I have been trying to force myself to watch what I eat and that all my workouts are good.
I had a eating disorder when I was 17, and well, while I believe you do not get over those things, I am nowhere as in a bad way like I was a few years back. We are talking 90somthin pounds, working out for 4-5 hours on knees that were beginning to tare-to this day I can tell when its going to rain way before I can smell it, because my knees begin to ache like a old person. I went for 128 pounds to 120 in a month, then in another month, I was done to 108. I went between 103-108 most of my senior year until I really lost it and started dipping into the 90's. Ii am only 5'4, and have very small bones(you can tell by it your index finger and thumb can wrap around your wrist). But the main thing was I was very malnourished. I would eat prunes and those calcium chew supplemnts for a month, then binge on cereal( I am allergic to that stuff) then go back to prunes and I honestly do not remember the year 2001 very well. I was a laxitive junkie. Sometime around June, 19 years old I said "theres got to be a better way."
I think there were a lot of factors to my anorexia, but even if I didn't have all those childhood traumas I think I would of still got sick. I went to this upscale liberal arts private school, and was 1 of five or six students who was a minority. That never really bothered me at all, but I never felt like I was ever in the running to be considered attractive, even when people told me they thought I was pretty. In the end, I will always think its my "winning" personality that attracts people and not my looks. In high school, while I kept my thoughts to myself about it, I always felt guilty for having a rag, or boobs, which none fo my friends had. The ironic thing is when I lost all the weight and my period stopped, my friends started to get their rags and thier boobs, and I guess it jusy goes to show you following the "crowd" never really works out well. I just started to get my rag on a more reguralr basis now, and sometimes I still find that hard to deal with. When I moved away from my home town and lived with all those college kids last year my self esteem actually sky rocketed. First of all, I got a better view of women, and their shapes and what not. I started to see myself clearly. Also, workin as a stripper helped my self esteem. I began to value having tits for one thing, and suddenly I found myself very happy I had a ass. Like I said, I don't know.what I learned from the whole thing is really that no matter how hot you are, it doesn't matter if your attitude sucks, and I would like to say, I sucked as a person when Ii was sick. I still sorta suck as a person, but I was a lot meaner, and anal when I was super focused on my external self.
Ok, well maybe I can cancel my therapy for this week because I just unleashed a wallop!!
Time for me to bounce.
PEACE
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My dad's a cardiologist and whenever people use the word "cardio" I can't help but think of the inside of the human heart and chest cavitiy (which I've seen more of than any living person should...).
But, the question remains, have you ever tried "Cardio Cowboy..."???
Ah???
Eh???
I bet you haven't???
You have a beautiful body.