homicidalheathen

"Freinds" ~sigh~ What a trip/pain in the ass. Ok, so here goes. A few years ago I started branching out.......a sort of new beginning for me after being a stay at home or working mom for years, just so busy and eh sheltered? Sorta, my inlaws were a bit over bearing, have since get my family to back off and let me be me and go out more.
So I ventured out and got involved with a few groups, mostly from online. Oh and went to some bars. Thinking maybe things would be different, better even? Than from when I was younger. That maybe somehow the world had changed, people more honest and giving....so NOT. In fact, I think it has gotten worse. In the coarse of the past few years of my quest for new freinds I have been ripped off a few times, once kinda bad...lied to numberous times, snubbed.....ignored, dumped. Hummiliated.....embaressed.....shammed, people with alterier motives. So here I am back at square one, a few good freinds I trust and have a connection with, but not many. Not much in common with my childhood freinds anymore, everyone's ego seems to be in the way.....
And so I spend time with my kids. They are allot like me. Don't seem to connect on a deep level with too many people and like to be alone allot.
Sometimes I just want to give up. But the more I do yoga and meditate the more I want to reach out, like it opens something inside me I want to share. I think maybe I should just go back to doing music and share that way.