I hate the mail!!!
No, this isn't a rant about how shitty the post office is. That's been well overdone. This is just me complaining about mail itself. Why is it that only BAD news arrives in the snailmailbox? I have yet to recieve a letter from Ed McMahon telling me that I've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes, but I seem to have money sucked out of my wallet with every other letter I open.
First I get a notice from the IRS telling me that my 2000 tax return is being audited. That's about as much fun as a swift kick in the ass. Later I get another notice pretty much saying that although I sent in sufficient evidence to back up my claims, they are throwing it all away because I smell bad and they feel like picking on me.
A few days later I get a formal notice from the EDD telling me that they've completed an internal audit of their own files and are adjusting my former claims such that I now owe them money too somehow.
Also on my mail shitlist is my insurance company, who sent me a letter saying that they are refusing to help pay for my wife's surgery because they are hairy assholes and just feel like taking my premiums without actually ever paying out for medical claims. More shit I have to deal with.
Today I get a form from my landlord telling me that my rent is being increased effective next month. Oh joy.
And this doesn't even count the zillions of pieces of junk mail, misdirected letters, bunk credit offers, etc. that I recieve on a regular basis. Throw in a lawsuit and a collection agency or two over time and now I swear even a bill feels like good news.
So this is it! No more mail for me - no good ever comes of it!!! I'm taking down my mailbox, releasing the dogs, and will shoot the mail carrier on site (always hated that bitch anyway). NO MORE MAIL FOR ME!
And if you don't like it, you can just trip on my synthesizer. (Enjoy this week's music pick).
No, this isn't a rant about how shitty the post office is. That's been well overdone. This is just me complaining about mail itself. Why is it that only BAD news arrives in the snailmailbox? I have yet to recieve a letter from Ed McMahon telling me that I've won the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes, but I seem to have money sucked out of my wallet with every other letter I open.
First I get a notice from the IRS telling me that my 2000 tax return is being audited. That's about as much fun as a swift kick in the ass. Later I get another notice pretty much saying that although I sent in sufficient evidence to back up my claims, they are throwing it all away because I smell bad and they feel like picking on me.
A few days later I get a formal notice from the EDD telling me that they've completed an internal audit of their own files and are adjusting my former claims such that I now owe them money too somehow.
Also on my mail shitlist is my insurance company, who sent me a letter saying that they are refusing to help pay for my wife's surgery because they are hairy assholes and just feel like taking my premiums without actually ever paying out for medical claims. More shit I have to deal with.
Today I get a form from my landlord telling me that my rent is being increased effective next month. Oh joy.
And this doesn't even count the zillions of pieces of junk mail, misdirected letters, bunk credit offers, etc. that I recieve on a regular basis. Throw in a lawsuit and a collection agency or two over time and now I swear even a bill feels like good news.
So this is it! No more mail for me - no good ever comes of it!!! I'm taking down my mailbox, releasing the dogs, and will shoot the mail carrier on site (always hated that bitch anyway). NO MORE MAIL FOR ME!
And if you don't like it, you can just trip on my synthesizer. (Enjoy this week's music pick).
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
dharmabox:
i actually look foward to getting snail mail but then again i think i am a little bit of a masochist! 
cherrybomb00:
that is some serious shitty mail. I haven't gone through all my piled up mail yet from when I was gone in paradise. I still want to be on vacation and need to get down to business again.