holyshitbag

I need a fucking change of pace really bad, or a really strong addiction to heroin. I keep feeling like I am standing still while life rushes past me. I think mostly I just need some good hurtin, the kind that makes you look into yourself for that last reserve of strength, the kind that makes you forget everything else but the moment. I love that feeling, where you just want it to end, so badly that you are mind keeps screaming at you to stop it, and then you just ignore that message and it stops hurting so bad. The best feeling like that I ever had was during my suspension, I thought that I was going to puke and pass out, that little inner voice kept begging me stop the pain, and I wouldnt/couldnt I had to keep going. I did that for what seemed like 5 minutes then all of the sudden it dawned on me that it didnt hurt anymore. Best feeling ever.