Woke up with my eyes like pits. I look like I have spent all night at Fight Club..(Shhh-not sopose to talk about it 
)
I have to buy Keith a birthday present soon. He turns 33 on Saturdau. I love him so much. I feel bad that he has to see me be such a dusche. I use to be able to hide it better. I'd go outside and smoke a cigarette whenever I needed to recollect myself (which is often). Now I don't smoke, and everyone knows it. I sort of wish I didn't tell anyone. Anyway, so now I don't do the cancer stick thing and whenever I get upset I just cry. Last night, I must of spoke a total of 5 sentances to him, in the span of 2 1/2 hours. I was so upset about the days events that it ruined our night. I went to bed earlier, so I could sob in private.
When he sees my arms he's gonna be upset...and do I hate wearing long sleeves in the summer.
A voice says, end your sufffering...smoke a stog, relax, be the old you. But the old me wasn't so happy either, ya know.
Maybe I need to go back to therapy.
I have been working on some seperate poetry portfolios.
I think I am going to go back to sleep.
)
I have to buy Keith a birthday present soon. He turns 33 on Saturdau. I love him so much. I feel bad that he has to see me be such a dusche. I use to be able to hide it better. I'd go outside and smoke a cigarette whenever I needed to recollect myself (which is often). Now I don't smoke, and everyone knows it. I sort of wish I didn't tell anyone. Anyway, so now I don't do the cancer stick thing and whenever I get upset I just cry. Last night, I must of spoke a total of 5 sentances to him, in the span of 2 1/2 hours. I was so upset about the days events that it ruined our night. I went to bed earlier, so I could sob in private.
When he sees my arms he's gonna be upset...and do I hate wearing long sleeves in the summer.
A voice says, end your sufffering...smoke a stog, relax, be the old you. But the old me wasn't so happy either, ya know.
Maybe I need to go back to therapy.
I have been working on some seperate poetry portfolios.
I think I am going to go back to sleep.
raziel666:
I beleive he loves you for you,probmles and all.About the smokeing,it does take time-it is one of the hardest things to get over,ya just have to redirect yourself when the urge comes up.I wish you the best.
amillahhighlife:
Thanks babe!