In other news...I have an appointment with the doctor today.
One of the more fascinating and functional bits of information to come out of my meeting with my birth mother was getting the low down on some family medical history.
When I talk about being adopted and say something like, "Being adopted isn't just something that happens once in your life, it's something that happens over and over again..." I'm referring to things like, visiting a new doctor...sitting in the waiting room and filling out those stupid medical forms and coming upon the "family history section." Being adopted isn't just being whisked away from the uterus that bore you...it's having to put a big 'X' through the family medical history section and having to fucking explain that to someone you don't know.
And frankly, I don't know why those are such uncomfortable moments...it's not like I had anything to do with my being adopted...so why do I sit there and feel judged? Maybe it's the flimsy paper gown. Or maybe it's just that I KNOW that behind that medically trained poker face there are a hundred thoughts racing by those eyes. Maybe they're just medically related...wondering how to approach a person without a medical history...or maybe they're wondering if my birth mother was some kind of junkie...and maybe I feel that they're putting that on ME somehow? Either way...I'll be happy to never have to do that again.
For me, the most amazing and mind blowing things I learned about my family history was that my hearing loss is hereditary. That not only do I have it, but my sisters have it, my birth mother has it, and my grand, and great grand mothers had it too! This may not be significant to someone who hasn't suffered a hearing loss. I can tell you my husband wasn't as impressed by the news although he tries to be excited for me when I keep bringing it up.
For me, growing up...not only did I have to keep making big 'X' marks through the medical history section of any and all questionaires...but I also had a medical issue that could have used some answering for. That is, my hearing loss. Now...the cause of most hearing loss, from mild to severe to profound is often unknown. It's rare even, to be able to trace it back to some exact cause OTHER than say...meningitis... Even if your entire family is profoundly and big 'D' Deaf, it's most likely unknown as to why.
My hearing loss is relatively mild and conductive in nature. I had tubes put in my ears every six months for the first seven years of my life. I was constantly on antibiotics to PREVENT ear infections, and still constantly getting them. I am a strong swimmer, despite the many years I had to wear special ear plugs and a bathing cap AND not get my head underwater. And despite my extensive vocabulary, I was speech delayed by at least a year due to the hearing loss. My ear drums now are significantly scarred and one is perforated. While I can HEAR sounds, even quiet ones...the quality of the sound I hear is diminished. I may hear you call my name from another room, but don't be fooled by the fact I will answer, "Whaaaaat?" I won't understand a word you say.
Growing up hard of hearing is a double whammy. For one, you're fucking hard of hearing. Second, nobody wants to address what your experience of life is. I mean...if you're DEAF...it's kind of unavoidable. Everyone is aware that your experience of life is different than their own. People are open and willing to make accomodations for your. If you're hard of hearing? It's like being invisible. You're not deaf enough to be deaf...but you're not hearing enough to be normal. Most importantly, nobody addresses it. My hearing loss was considering a medical issue and that was that. I wasn't taught sign language to help me communicate while we "fixed" my ears. I wasn't assured that I was OK despite that fact that I was different from my peers. My hearing loss was simply swept under the rug and ignored.
It wasn't until I was in NYU getting my master's in Deafness Rehabilitation (that's counseling and vocational rehab, not hearing aids) that I finally met another hard of hearing person like myself. And for me, a woman of many, many words...to not be able to express in words the difference that made for me in my life...should illustrate exactly how deeply that effected me.
So let me say then, that to not only find my birth mother, and be grounded into a real and true family...but to find that MY HEARING LOSS IS HEREDITARY...blew my mother fucking mind. Not only will I never have to make a big fat 'X' through the family medical history section in the doctor's office...but I'll never again have to explain my hearing loss or my experience of it, to anyone...ever...again....
Although...today I'm actually going to get my thyroid tested? More on that later...
One of the more fascinating and functional bits of information to come out of my meeting with my birth mother was getting the low down on some family medical history.
When I talk about being adopted and say something like, "Being adopted isn't just something that happens once in your life, it's something that happens over and over again..." I'm referring to things like, visiting a new doctor...sitting in the waiting room and filling out those stupid medical forms and coming upon the "family history section." Being adopted isn't just being whisked away from the uterus that bore you...it's having to put a big 'X' through the family medical history section and having to fucking explain that to someone you don't know.
And frankly, I don't know why those are such uncomfortable moments...it's not like I had anything to do with my being adopted...so why do I sit there and feel judged? Maybe it's the flimsy paper gown. Or maybe it's just that I KNOW that behind that medically trained poker face there are a hundred thoughts racing by those eyes. Maybe they're just medically related...wondering how to approach a person without a medical history...or maybe they're wondering if my birth mother was some kind of junkie...and maybe I feel that they're putting that on ME somehow? Either way...I'll be happy to never have to do that again.
For me, the most amazing and mind blowing things I learned about my family history was that my hearing loss is hereditary. That not only do I have it, but my sisters have it, my birth mother has it, and my grand, and great grand mothers had it too! This may not be significant to someone who hasn't suffered a hearing loss. I can tell you my husband wasn't as impressed by the news although he tries to be excited for me when I keep bringing it up.
For me, growing up...not only did I have to keep making big 'X' marks through the medical history section of any and all questionaires...but I also had a medical issue that could have used some answering for. That is, my hearing loss. Now...the cause of most hearing loss, from mild to severe to profound is often unknown. It's rare even, to be able to trace it back to some exact cause OTHER than say...meningitis... Even if your entire family is profoundly and big 'D' Deaf, it's most likely unknown as to why.
My hearing loss is relatively mild and conductive in nature. I had tubes put in my ears every six months for the first seven years of my life. I was constantly on antibiotics to PREVENT ear infections, and still constantly getting them. I am a strong swimmer, despite the many years I had to wear special ear plugs and a bathing cap AND not get my head underwater. And despite my extensive vocabulary, I was speech delayed by at least a year due to the hearing loss. My ear drums now are significantly scarred and one is perforated. While I can HEAR sounds, even quiet ones...the quality of the sound I hear is diminished. I may hear you call my name from another room, but don't be fooled by the fact I will answer, "Whaaaaat?" I won't understand a word you say.
Growing up hard of hearing is a double whammy. For one, you're fucking hard of hearing. Second, nobody wants to address what your experience of life is. I mean...if you're DEAF...it's kind of unavoidable. Everyone is aware that your experience of life is different than their own. People are open and willing to make accomodations for your. If you're hard of hearing? It's like being invisible. You're not deaf enough to be deaf...but you're not hearing enough to be normal. Most importantly, nobody addresses it. My hearing loss was considering a medical issue and that was that. I wasn't taught sign language to help me communicate while we "fixed" my ears. I wasn't assured that I was OK despite that fact that I was different from my peers. My hearing loss was simply swept under the rug and ignored.
It wasn't until I was in NYU getting my master's in Deafness Rehabilitation (that's counseling and vocational rehab, not hearing aids) that I finally met another hard of hearing person like myself. And for me, a woman of many, many words...to not be able to express in words the difference that made for me in my life...should illustrate exactly how deeply that effected me.
So let me say then, that to not only find my birth mother, and be grounded into a real and true family...but to find that MY HEARING LOSS IS HEREDITARY...blew my mother fucking mind. Not only will I never have to make a big fat 'X' through the family medical history section in the doctor's office...but I'll never again have to explain my hearing loss or my experience of it, to anyone...ever...again....
Although...today I'm actually going to get my thyroid tested? More on that later...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
It's cool that you're finding out things about your genetic family. Seriously cool...
Yeah dude I agree. I went to this girl in confidence and she totally ran her mouth and got the facts wrong.........Meh I dunno if I can be mean to her or confront her because she's like the only friend I have here besides my room mate.