Did you know that a creeping child can move at up to speeds of 30mph?!
It's a FACT!
Wait, it's not? No?! How fast IS Roger moving?! It sure FEELS like a pretty good clip as I'm chasing him out of the kitchen...the bathroom, the closet...and every OTHER not-yet-babyproofed thing in the house...
I SWEAR! I turn my back for a SECOND and he's off and gone!!! And how he finds the ONE non-baby proof thing in a room, I don't know...it's a fucking skill... Of course, it leaves me with a quandry after he's stuck it in his mouth... Do I immediately take it, reprimand him, replace it with a baby-safe item, like the books say? Or do I quick snap a picture...THEN reprimand him?
Well, you figure it out...
"Honey, why isn't our internet working"
It's a FACT!
Wait, it's not? No?! How fast IS Roger moving?! It sure FEELS like a pretty good clip as I'm chasing him out of the kitchen...the bathroom, the closet...and every OTHER not-yet-babyproofed thing in the house...
I SWEAR! I turn my back for a SECOND and he's off and gone!!! And how he finds the ONE non-baby proof thing in a room, I don't know...it's a fucking skill... Of course, it leaves me with a quandry after he's stuck it in his mouth... Do I immediately take it, reprimand him, replace it with a baby-safe item, like the books say? Or do I quick snap a picture...THEN reprimand him?
Well, you figure it out...
"Honey, why isn't our internet working"
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But seriously, though....I'm no ho'