Letter to myself,
I am not sure what I am doing anymore , sometimes it just seems like this life isnt worth much , it feels like I am doing too much and reaping such little rewards , I feel like I should be doing better than I am right now .
It seems like I am just trying to make myself happier than humanly possible. I hope everything pulls through with my business and I can fulfill the promises I have made to so many people.
All of this work here lately has paid off in the fact that I now have a new car and I feel better instantly about that, but I also feel like its long overdue. I am uneducated in the traditional sense and I am worried about the prospect of my life changing dramatically real soon, I am not sure where this life is going to take me and quite frankly it scares me to death.
Its nice to finally be seeing someone again, but yet that also brings the fear of attachment with it, the fear that once again I will get hurt, that bothers me a lot too.
Why cant this just be simpler? Why does it always have to be a struggle? Can I just be for a little while, or will it always be like this for me? Would it be simpler for this life to just slip by in a dream, or can I really mold it into the life that I want and need? Why is it that I seem to have so many questions that I will never answer? Should I even be asking them, were they meant to never be answered?
I am not sure how all of this is going to turn out but I am excited in the fact that it is all up in the air. What does tomorrow really hold? Is there a tomorrow, or is this all just one endless day which at the end sleep is eternity? I am so confused, this day has been good for me, Ive had time to think, but not about the things that matter today. At the end Ive said too much and not done enough so fuck it. Everything we do is just everything weve done.
I am not sure what I am doing anymore , sometimes it just seems like this life isnt worth much , it feels like I am doing too much and reaping such little rewards , I feel like I should be doing better than I am right now .
It seems like I am just trying to make myself happier than humanly possible. I hope everything pulls through with my business and I can fulfill the promises I have made to so many people.
All of this work here lately has paid off in the fact that I now have a new car and I feel better instantly about that, but I also feel like its long overdue. I am uneducated in the traditional sense and I am worried about the prospect of my life changing dramatically real soon, I am not sure where this life is going to take me and quite frankly it scares me to death.
Its nice to finally be seeing someone again, but yet that also brings the fear of attachment with it, the fear that once again I will get hurt, that bothers me a lot too.
Why cant this just be simpler? Why does it always have to be a struggle? Can I just be for a little while, or will it always be like this for me? Would it be simpler for this life to just slip by in a dream, or can I really mold it into the life that I want and need? Why is it that I seem to have so many questions that I will never answer? Should I even be asking them, were they meant to never be answered?
I am not sure how all of this is going to turn out but I am excited in the fact that it is all up in the air. What does tomorrow really hold? Is there a tomorrow, or is this all just one endless day which at the end sleep is eternity? I am so confused, this day has been good for me, Ive had time to think, but not about the things that matter today. At the end Ive said too much and not done enough so fuck it. Everything we do is just everything weve done.