hockeyjunkie

I'm an emotional basketcase right now. I have negative three dollars in my bank account, and not a single cent in my savings. My car insurance bill just came, rent is due soon, and bills are already rolling in. My first paycheck comes Tuesday and I doubt it will cover even half the bills I have swarming in. The only thing I can do is beg my father to help me out. I know that once I start working full time as a manager, I'll be fine. It's just this in-between time that is driving me bonkers. The only food I have in the house is a box of pasta-roni and mashed potatoes in a box. That's it. I'm not even exaggerating. I have gone through all of my college-ramen. I hate do ask my father again, but this is the only option. I can't ask mother again, she already loaned me money for my first month's rent. So far, March is the only month's rent I was able to pay myself. This whole situation just makes me feel completely inept. I am a complete moron when it comes to being independent and helping myself. I am helpless and pretty much hopeless. I stopped even believing that there might be somebody out there for me. I am destined to not only be alone, but to be dirt poor as well. What an existence to look forward to. And now I don't even know where I'll be living come May/June. Will I move immediately to Oregon? Could I even afford that? No. I can't. It can't happen. I will have to stay in Reno for a couple of months. I'll be a manager at Video Maniacs come Saturday, which means I'll have managerial experience to put on my resume. I need another couple of months to work out this financial situation, and then maybe I can make a real decision about my future--if I have one.