I think this was an omen telling me that the time to be over Joshua (Russell, remember?) is now.
Valentine's Day 2004, I'm sure most of you remember, Joshua bought me this adorable little Frog Prince Charming. Charming has remained on the dashboard of Eddie for over a year now. Even the last five months that Joshua and I have been separated (has it been five months already??) As you also might know, I just got Eddie back after he was in the automobile hospital for quite some time (two months!!). I went to pick up a friend so we could hang out, and I tried to show him Charming. I went to squeeze him, and not a sound came out. His "ribbits" are no more.
After some thought I began to wonder. Is this a sign? Is this what I need to show me that still loving a boy who hasn't talked to me since before he broke up with me is getting old? Charming ribbits no more. I should love no more. Is it just that simple? I think everyone would agree with me that it is not. However, I doubt anybody thinks I should still be this in love and this crazy for that boy. It has been emotionally damaging. I break down at the most inopportune and just plain annoying times. It has created an obsession within myself to find love and to get on with a life that holds love in it.
There is a lot I learned from my relationship with Joshua. There is a lot that I am still learning from my breakup with Joshua. I don't even know why I say my "breakup with" because of the mere fact that there was no "with" or "we" involved in the breakup. It was all him, and nothing about it involved my decisions.
But I digress. In fact, I don't even know if I still want to continue writing about this subject. It still hurts to think about him. I thought it would be over by now. But I still miss him like crazy.
Ciao
Valentine's Day 2004, I'm sure most of you remember, Joshua bought me this adorable little Frog Prince Charming. Charming has remained on the dashboard of Eddie for over a year now. Even the last five months that Joshua and I have been separated (has it been five months already??) As you also might know, I just got Eddie back after he was in the automobile hospital for quite some time (two months!!). I went to pick up a friend so we could hang out, and I tried to show him Charming. I went to squeeze him, and not a sound came out. His "ribbits" are no more.
After some thought I began to wonder. Is this a sign? Is this what I need to show me that still loving a boy who hasn't talked to me since before he broke up with me is getting old? Charming ribbits no more. I should love no more. Is it just that simple? I think everyone would agree with me that it is not. However, I doubt anybody thinks I should still be this in love and this crazy for that boy. It has been emotionally damaging. I break down at the most inopportune and just plain annoying times. It has created an obsession within myself to find love and to get on with a life that holds love in it.
There is a lot I learned from my relationship with Joshua. There is a lot that I am still learning from my breakup with Joshua. I don't even know why I say my "breakup with" because of the mere fact that there was no "with" or "we" involved in the breakup. It was all him, and nothing about it involved my decisions.
But I digress. In fact, I don't even know if I still want to continue writing about this subject. It still hurts to think about him. I thought it would be over by now. But I still miss him like crazy.
Ciao
kaliblue:
Unfortunately, I can offer you no words of wisdom concerning heartbreak, as I'm not terribly experienced with these matters. But I do believe that there's no point in wasting your love on someone who refuses to reciprocate. Shutting down emotions is a feat easier said than done, I'm sure... but I'd still give it a shot. Go through the breakup ritual of throwing/putting away everything that reminds you of him. Then let the rebounding begin.