hockeyjunkie

I almost died today over Mt. Rose. How is it that it is APRIL and it is FUCKING SNOWING?!?!? I hate Tahoe. I know everyone says it's so beautiful and blah blah blah... It's one of those places that is nice to visit, but I HATE living here.

I HATE FUCKING INCLINE AND SNOW AND ALL THE FUCKING IMMATURE ASSHOLES AROUND HERE

ok

Now. I have three days until Joshua will be here. I just have to keep my sanity till then. And then... He'll leave again. But he'll be back. And then he'll leave again. And then I'll go there. And then I'll have to leave. And hopefully, sooner rather than later, we will be living together.

I won't have to live here anymore. I can have my own life that will be NO ONE else's business. And I won't have to live in the disgusting mess Jason prefers to live in. If the flat gets messy, it will be one of TWO people's mess, and it won't be so hard to clean up. I'll turn into the little house-wifey that takes care of her "husband." Okay, live-in boyfriend. What the fuck ever. It's practically like we're married. Except for all that fighting shit people associate with marriage. And without the actual BEING TOGETHER.

I hate sleeping alone now. It's cold and lonely. These tears I shed are ridiculous to everyone but me...

ciao