hockeyjunkie

I've noticed qualities in myself that I have previously despised in others. I am the annoying girlfriend.

I hate when he has to get off the phone to hang out with his friends...because we barely talk anymore.

I put myself down while talking to him...for really no reason.

I whine about nothing.

I say "I miss you more" or "I love you more"... like it matters or makes any difference.

I have a rotten day, or at least in a pissy mood, until I talk to him---which is sometimes not until 4 in the afternoon, sometimes as late as 7.

I'm not trying to be an annoying girlfriend. I don't even notice I'm doing any of this until I'm off the phone. I was doing my crunches tonight and I realized all of this. I'm sick with myself. I just want to apologize when he calls me. He normally just laughs everything off---but I don't want him to think I'm some stupid little girl. I really do love him. I miss him like crazy, and his phone calls are really all I look forward to every day.

But it's ok. This weekend: Vegas! Jamie, Adam and I leave on Friday after Ecopsychology. (Adam is Jamie's boyfriend). So Adam and Jamie will spend time in Pahrump together, and I get to spend time in Vegas with Joshua. Good. Because I'm less stupid-girly when we're face to face.