i have perfect comic timing. that's right, you know how some people are good at things like eating hotdogs or bakeoffs or soccer or whatever. well, my thing is that on some nights, beginning around 11:30, everything that comes out of my mouth is fucking hilarious.
this is not me bragging.
in fact, it's quite the curse...because great comedy, as everyone knows, is only alive for that exact moment. so on a night like last night, oh what a night, while i had everyone (at least from what i can recall) rolling in the isles; i have to leave quickly. because every great comic knows to leave them laughing so you'll stay funny in their hearts.
if only i could do the artsy or communist or hipster or pretentious thing instead, but no. my thing is comedy, and good comedy is fleeting. and this, my friends, this is why i never get chicks at the bar.
that's what this is really about this morning. i didn't get the chicks. i was hugged, kissed on the cheek, laughed with, and at the end of the night, i've got those tears of a clown.
luckily i was very very very drunk, so not much in the way of feelings were getting through...but whatever...
and then, i'm at afterhours, where i get more serious and whatnot...and i'm having a great time, and then all of a sudden i'm alone with this girl i've had a crush on, and like i would like to take this girl out on dates and hold her hand and shit...so i'm getting all blushy and all my confidence i've been tossing out all night long fucking dissapears at once as i'm asking her if i could take her on a date sometime...and then she says no...but not no as much as here's a lame way for me to dance around the subject of it and not really say no but totally mean no and when you call me out on it in a second i will look at you blankly until you let it go...
fucking perfect comic timing.
and as she's saying nothing at all, she keeps touching me...like more touching than she's ever done to me before since we've met maybe a year or so ago...to the point where she was holding my face at one moment and i almost burst out into tears becasue no one has really like held me in that way for a long time...it's like all at once all my adrenaline and all my stress and catholic guilt and muscle tension just fell away like a million tiny curtains opening in rapid succession...and it felt so fucking good. and yet i was being rejected at the time.
i don't know, wahtever, i'm hungover. fuck it.
perfect fucking comic timing.
this is not me bragging.
in fact, it's quite the curse...because great comedy, as everyone knows, is only alive for that exact moment. so on a night like last night, oh what a night, while i had everyone (at least from what i can recall) rolling in the isles; i have to leave quickly. because every great comic knows to leave them laughing so you'll stay funny in their hearts.
if only i could do the artsy or communist or hipster or pretentious thing instead, but no. my thing is comedy, and good comedy is fleeting. and this, my friends, this is why i never get chicks at the bar.
that's what this is really about this morning. i didn't get the chicks. i was hugged, kissed on the cheek, laughed with, and at the end of the night, i've got those tears of a clown.
luckily i was very very very drunk, so not much in the way of feelings were getting through...but whatever...
and then, i'm at afterhours, where i get more serious and whatnot...and i'm having a great time, and then all of a sudden i'm alone with this girl i've had a crush on, and like i would like to take this girl out on dates and hold her hand and shit...so i'm getting all blushy and all my confidence i've been tossing out all night long fucking dissapears at once as i'm asking her if i could take her on a date sometime...and then she says no...but not no as much as here's a lame way for me to dance around the subject of it and not really say no but totally mean no and when you call me out on it in a second i will look at you blankly until you let it go...
fucking perfect comic timing.
and as she's saying nothing at all, she keeps touching me...like more touching than she's ever done to me before since we've met maybe a year or so ago...to the point where she was holding my face at one moment and i almost burst out into tears becasue no one has really like held me in that way for a long time...it's like all at once all my adrenaline and all my stress and catholic guilt and muscle tension just fell away like a million tiny curtains opening in rapid succession...and it felt so fucking good. and yet i was being rejected at the time.
i don't know, wahtever, i'm hungover. fuck it.
perfect fucking comic timing.