There are a million and one thoughts that flow through my head at every given moment. I've learned quite effectively to quiet them somewhat or at least how to find the on i want to focus on at that given moment in time, but sometimes i just don't know what to focus on and it gets to an overwhelming degree. When my ex would complain of the same thing I would tell her it can be controlled and she swore that it couldn't. Sometimes you have to step back and put all thought processes on mute so you can slow down. Life goes a million miles a minute and time is speeding up as it goes. So what thought do i focus on now?
Do I focus on the thousand political statements, comments, and propaganda that are going through my head or do I focus on the spiritual ones?
Do I focus of the things I dare not speak of or do I focus on love and relationships (which often coincide with the aforementioned).
What do I focus on on a day to day basis? What do I need to focus on on a day to day basis?
Part of my mind says "fuck this, get drunk and you won't think about any of it" and then the war starts. "Fuck you, buddy! I'm the side that keeps you semi-smart"
"But I'm the side who doesn't care about anything and just wants us to get laid!"
"True, but I'm the side that has compassion and actually care about people enough to not have sex with random strangers and focus more on the feelings of others as well as those matters that are important."
"But what's important?"
Guess what side wins? One would assume the one with the last word, but that's far from the truth. If toomentallyactiveforownphysicalgood was a real word and in the dictionary it would have my picture.
Let's look at politics... do you know how many people have stopped talking and walked away when I said I was an anarchist? How about number of times I've been hit? What about number of times sneered at and silenced?
My spirituality is the same way, luckily I've learned not to play these cards off the bat when meeting new people. Which just the phrase: meeting new people... is any incredible inside joke shared by the two sides of my personality. They laugh hysterically every time they hear that. Meeting new people happens less often than a full moon but more often than every leap year... barely.
Love and relationships: I've been in three relationships (dismal amount relatively speaking)... all three of which failed bitterly. First: too many differences especially in the two controversial subjects mentioned above this one. Second: Too many drugs involved, age, and insanity on her part. Third: Very controlling... no air, etc. First lasted a year and a half, second lasted about 2 months (if even that), third was a little over three years. Am I due for a 4 monther? The tarot card reader said I had a soul mate and that we know each other and are fond of each other. I wonder if he was on cocaine or meth? Either way, to trip that hard to predict that he would've had to have been on some heavy heavy heavy heavy hard drug regiments. Don't get me wrong... I believe in soul mates as I believe that in the beginning there was no man nor female and when each soul was divided to be sent to human form each soul was split into opposite sexes. Thus, soul mates. Sex is an act where the human form is brought together as one and I believe is our souls trying to reunite. I believe sexual pleasure is dwindled when the souls are incompatible and sometimes not present at all.
I wouldn't know too much about sex though... I'm too nice to try and have sex with every girl I meet.
So... most thoughts of mine can be quickly classified into those three sections. Everything else is thrown in the trash or thrown into the filing cabinet under: miscellaneous information... SUCH as: Garlic being good for colds, full moon affects human activity as well as tides (insert information about article read from police), the weird things that are put into some types of beer, information about bands, and other random things. These thoughts are thrown to the top of my brain when the information proves to be useful.
I feel kind of cranky tonight... maybe I'm just lonely...
Do I focus on the thousand political statements, comments, and propaganda that are going through my head or do I focus on the spiritual ones?
Do I focus of the things I dare not speak of or do I focus on love and relationships (which often coincide with the aforementioned).
What do I focus on on a day to day basis? What do I need to focus on on a day to day basis?
Part of my mind says "fuck this, get drunk and you won't think about any of it" and then the war starts. "Fuck you, buddy! I'm the side that keeps you semi-smart"
"But I'm the side who doesn't care about anything and just wants us to get laid!"
"True, but I'm the side that has compassion and actually care about people enough to not have sex with random strangers and focus more on the feelings of others as well as those matters that are important."
"But what's important?"
Guess what side wins? One would assume the one with the last word, but that's far from the truth. If toomentallyactiveforownphysicalgood was a real word and in the dictionary it would have my picture.
Let's look at politics... do you know how many people have stopped talking and walked away when I said I was an anarchist? How about number of times I've been hit? What about number of times sneered at and silenced?
My spirituality is the same way, luckily I've learned not to play these cards off the bat when meeting new people. Which just the phrase: meeting new people... is any incredible inside joke shared by the two sides of my personality. They laugh hysterically every time they hear that. Meeting new people happens less often than a full moon but more often than every leap year... barely.
Love and relationships: I've been in three relationships (dismal amount relatively speaking)... all three of which failed bitterly. First: too many differences especially in the two controversial subjects mentioned above this one. Second: Too many drugs involved, age, and insanity on her part. Third: Very controlling... no air, etc. First lasted a year and a half, second lasted about 2 months (if even that), third was a little over three years. Am I due for a 4 monther? The tarot card reader said I had a soul mate and that we know each other and are fond of each other. I wonder if he was on cocaine or meth? Either way, to trip that hard to predict that he would've had to have been on some heavy heavy heavy heavy hard drug regiments. Don't get me wrong... I believe in soul mates as I believe that in the beginning there was no man nor female and when each soul was divided to be sent to human form each soul was split into opposite sexes. Thus, soul mates. Sex is an act where the human form is brought together as one and I believe is our souls trying to reunite. I believe sexual pleasure is dwindled when the souls are incompatible and sometimes not present at all.
I wouldn't know too much about sex though... I'm too nice to try and have sex with every girl I meet.
So... most thoughts of mine can be quickly classified into those three sections. Everything else is thrown in the trash or thrown into the filing cabinet under: miscellaneous information... SUCH as: Garlic being good for colds, full moon affects human activity as well as tides (insert information about article read from police), the weird things that are put into some types of beer, information about bands, and other random things. These thoughts are thrown to the top of my brain when the information proves to be useful.
I feel kind of cranky tonight... maybe I'm just lonely...