I'm really needing coffee this morning!
My second set was submitted, and accepted yesterday. I'm excited that I have another set waiting to go into member review, but I'm not feeling my very best about it.
Warning: This is when Hixon gets all personal.
I've looked up to Suicide Girls ever since I made my parents take me to the tattoo shop the very night I turned 18. I've always admired their beauty, and self confidence, and ability to stand out from the masses by just being themselves. They were all so unique. Tall, short, thin, thick, light and dark. It's beautiful.
After 10 years in the Marine Corps, I was beyond excited to be able to submit to try to become one of *those* girls. My first set I was so nervous. I had never really done any modeling before, besides some small stuff when I was much younger, and I was sure it would show through in my photos. I feel very fortunate to of met @roz, who is so supportive and had a lot of experience that I was about to try to draw from. You guys floored me with your responses. I felt wonderful.
I've struggled with my weight most of my adult life. The military made that especially stressful. I teetered on the edge of an eating disorder throughout my entire two enlistments and still struggle with it today. Suicide Girls helped me gain some confidence. A lot of people look at me and see that confidence. I'm outspoken, loud, and probably seem like I have it all together... but, those insecurities creep up on me and whisper the most awful things in my ears more often then I'd like to admit.
The Offering is a more difficult set for me to be proud of. It'd hard for me see anything besides the negatives.
I had a good cry and mini-meltdown about it last night. I look at it again this morning and still aren't as happy as I'd love to be, but I need to stop being so damn hard on myself. I have people who love me, an amazingly supportive boyfriend and great friends who tell me I'm beautiful every day. I have all the amazing people here on SG who leave me wonderful compliments.
Realizing this blog is a little scatter brained, I'll just leave some pictures of my newest set. Happy Tuesday, SG.
xoxo,
Hixon
