Is there anyone that is there to talk to me when I feel like this? Everything seems to go to hell. Things seemed like they were turning around. And then the bottom just drops out.
Yeah, sure I got two phone numbers from two girls the other night. Neither of them have any interest though. Seems to be the way it always happens. I meet someone, and nothing works. EVER. I hang out with them, and I feel the black sheep. They talk among themselves and I just am there. I dont know how to break the ice, I dont know what to say. And I am really getting tired of this "its not you" shit. Ive heard that a number of times. If its not me... what the hell is it?! Im tired of life just being a series of constant downs. Its not like I could have scared off either of them with my actions because we hardly have hung out.
I just came out of a break up, where it was pretty much "You did everythign Scott, you didnt give me enough attention" and I had been down for a while. Then when these girls give me their number, I thought that there was some sort of interest. And I was happy when I hung out with them, really happy. Though I still didnt feel accepted at first, it was alright, I figured it would change, and that there were people who wanted to get to know me. And I thought that there would be a new dimension to my life. I still want to hang out with them if they want to. It may be a little odd at first being around these girls. But Im not going to lose friends because of that.
My life consists of me sitting at my computer, and working. Occationally I go out with friends, but they've usually got "other" things to do. I have no real group that I can say I hang out with all the time and actually DO something with. I want to do so much more with my life. I feel like im waisting it.
I just feel sad. Like I cant do anything right. My father totally doesnt help. "have you ever tried talkign to him about it?" Hell yes I have. Everytime I do, he gets more upset then he already is and makes it sound like im just trying to be some little ungreatful asshole. "I gave you that car" Yeah, no shit. You think Im ungreatful for it? Fuck you if you want to think that. It doesnt give you a reason to be such a fucking prick about it. Ive never really had any praise from him... that I can remember. No matter what I do, its never enough. My room is never clean enough. I never take care of things soon enough for his liking. So I guess that entitles him to be a god damn jerkoff about it.
Im going to go to bed, I have an early employee meeting tomorrow morning. Good. I get to hear how shitty I do there too.
I bend over backwards for people. I am there for them when they feel down, I do what I can to make them happy, sometimes completely inconveniencing myself for them. And whent he time comes that the roles reverse, their not there anymore. Who the fuck do I have to talk to?
Yeah, sure I got two phone numbers from two girls the other night. Neither of them have any interest though. Seems to be the way it always happens. I meet someone, and nothing works. EVER. I hang out with them, and I feel the black sheep. They talk among themselves and I just am there. I dont know how to break the ice, I dont know what to say. And I am really getting tired of this "its not you" shit. Ive heard that a number of times. If its not me... what the hell is it?! Im tired of life just being a series of constant downs. Its not like I could have scared off either of them with my actions because we hardly have hung out.
I just came out of a break up, where it was pretty much "You did everythign Scott, you didnt give me enough attention" and I had been down for a while. Then when these girls give me their number, I thought that there was some sort of interest. And I was happy when I hung out with them, really happy. Though I still didnt feel accepted at first, it was alright, I figured it would change, and that there were people who wanted to get to know me. And I thought that there would be a new dimension to my life. I still want to hang out with them if they want to. It may be a little odd at first being around these girls. But Im not going to lose friends because of that.
My life consists of me sitting at my computer, and working. Occationally I go out with friends, but they've usually got "other" things to do. I have no real group that I can say I hang out with all the time and actually DO something with. I want to do so much more with my life. I feel like im waisting it.
I just feel sad. Like I cant do anything right. My father totally doesnt help. "have you ever tried talkign to him about it?" Hell yes I have. Everytime I do, he gets more upset then he already is and makes it sound like im just trying to be some little ungreatful asshole. "I gave you that car" Yeah, no shit. You think Im ungreatful for it? Fuck you if you want to think that. It doesnt give you a reason to be such a fucking prick about it. Ive never really had any praise from him... that I can remember. No matter what I do, its never enough. My room is never clean enough. I never take care of things soon enough for his liking. So I guess that entitles him to be a god damn jerkoff about it.
Im going to go to bed, I have an early employee meeting tomorrow morning. Good. I get to hear how shitty I do there too.
I bend over backwards for people. I am there for them when they feel down, I do what I can to make them happy, sometimes completely inconveniencing myself for them. And whent he time comes that the roles reverse, their not there anymore. Who the fuck do I have to talk to?
Everybody's dad sucks, make peace with it. They are out of control, give him more respect thean he givs you, he is old. Move out as soon as you can it's much better for you.
I thopught only Bam Magera Knew about him
Also read books. Buy Bukowski you will like it and henry Miller- I'll give you cooler stuff later
Definitely buy the GTO you'll like it