hipples

I feel so distant from myself right now. I've no motivation to do anything.

I thought that doing a "nothing" like watching a movie (something that really doesn't require any sort of action on my part) might be something. But then I got to the video store and I could not find anything that I really felt like watching. I ended up renting "Sin City" because I remember it being wicked. And "Harold and Maude" because I apparently look like Harold (well when I had longer hair anyways). I've little interest in watching them now though...

Playing a game would be a decent waste of time. I can't think of a single game I'd be interested in right now though either. Nothing that I wouldn't need a new console/computer for anyways...

I tried writing some letters today. I didn't get very far though. I really couldn't think of what to write, and when I tried to put anything to words it didn't come out properly. Writer's block?

So tonight, in an attempt to do ANYTHING that might be useful or entertaining, I did the dishes. It's about the only thing that needed to be finished in my apartment. Everythings so clean already. I spent most of yesterday working through everything else. The floors are vacuumed. The bathroom is shiny and white. Most of my laundry is even done; there's only two more loads that I'll do once I have a few more loonies to feed the washing machine.

I feel this urge to be creative... to start writing again. To do a few little art/sketch projects. To cry. But nothing is flowing (can't even conjure a tear). I feel artistically constipated... I want to do something but I feel all blocked.

I am a hollow empty husk. Where has my soul gone?