himadhaman

thank jesus for my job, for the raise, for having enough saving, and for vegas, where i plan on spending said savings next tuesday. viva los vegas. after two months of dealing with the wicked wtich of the next room, a vacation is precisely what i need.

in other news, i'm writing again. woo.

my coworkers think i'm crazy.

i'm just no good in the morning. it takes about two hours and three or four hits of caffine before i really come into my skull and stop sounding like a fool. this is, apparently, hillarious. they gather round when i stumble my ass into the office, and wait for me to say something stupid. seriously.

lately, with so much...
Read More

maybe its cause its friday, and friday is the day for doing these things, but all day long i've been assaulted with singularity. Like i'm in the third grade again, but instead of all the old reasons, i'm being mocked for being half a person.
Now its 1 am, an hour i'm all too familiar with. i hate being awake at 1 am. i've got...
Read More

i'm fucking tired of coming home and my night being exciting if theres something good on tv. On nights when i have no homework, i shock myself with the shit i end up watching.

i kinda need a life.

i'm thinking in yeats and pulling my own hair out. shaking like i'm sick or cold, but i'm watching the whole thing like i'm not even really there. I had a dream last night that my skin was coming off, and i woke up i kept thinking i should be sweating or tangled in my sheets, but i wasn't.
i'm supposed to be going crazy,...
Read More

where does time go?

a month goes by and its like i never even noticed. i have a fluid relationship with time. sometimes you can freeze it and its sharp and hard and sometimes you drown in it get lost in it you can't even get a breath you're so covered in it.

i'm in the shallow end tonight, i'm floundering. the past isn't making...
Read More

i finally saw Garden State tonight. i'd heard a lot about it, and i think i was avoiding it subconciously, knowing it would depress me. well, in all honestly depress is the wrong word. wistful?

i've had it with mildreds. i want a sam.

whoever decided i should be both crushingly cynical and pathetically romantic had a sick sense of humor, and i have to...
Read More

i've been writing for a couple of years now. i read a lot of fantasy and a lot of science fiction when i was a kid, so for me the world i write in is always very divided. theres good guys and bad guys. theres the right and the wrong...

i find i'm completely uninterested in writing good guys these days. i'm not sure why,...
Read More

i don't even know what to say. i'm as crazy as any two people i know. you never think you're batshit. go figure. fuck. oh well.

in other news i've been ordered by cronies from high school to find good bars to take them to. i have pretended that i know LOTS of great places. this is a lie. help me.

ahh new years.

it took me 14 hours of driving, with a stay in a cheap motel in the middle, to get to tahoe. when i got there i did what i do best on new years. i drank. i was three deep by the time we went to dinner, and three more by the end. i recall champagne being poured, and i recall drinking...
Read More