himadhaman

I am exhausted.

I am drained, i am tired. I feel empty. This is hardly the atmosphere i had hoped to open this journal with, but i find this is all i really want to say.

The last few months have been a strain i'm unused to dealing with. I asked for this, i suppose, but i was unprepared for the consequences.

i'm being vague, but thats life. i don't have the energy to describe exactly what the hell is wrong in my life. its not as bad as it sounds. i have a home, a room thats mine and mine alone, with books on the walls and a low wide bed in the corner. Theres no one in it anymore but me, and she doesn't mind joking about that fact, which hurts, but i will get over it. I have a job that for once is paying me well, i'm only failing one of my four classes, and by all accounts i'm less crazy than i was two years ago.

for all that, i find them of only moderate consoaltion. being lonely is something i'm accustomed to, but never let it be said that i enjoy it.