I rant a lot about how I need change and to get away from where I currently live. It's not as simple as packing up and moving to where I could better interact with punk, rock, gamer, tattooed, suicide girl type personalities....where ever you all hide. I'm stuck with the military for now and that being said, I can't move until (if) they need me to move. So, why do I stay? It's the best thing I have going for my son...until I figure out what else I can or want to do. I do have the technical skills necessary to get into the gaming industry. I have my doubts in trying to get into tattooing or something relatable and that being said, what else is there out there? The military has a way of stifling a person's core essence. It promotes a culture of uniformity and over time (14 years for me) you begin to lose yourself. You become engaged in an atmosphere of people pleasers and brown nosers, seeking to fit into and expand on things that are not individualistic. It's the fucking Borg! I need to break the bonds of assimilation! I do my best to hold on to what and who I am at heart, but I can't find anyone of like mind to feed off of each other. Especially relationships, not in an agricultural based cesspool do I hope to find someone who I can mutually be thrilled to go get new ink with, who can feel a nostalgic passion to collect retro video games, get geeky with over the little things in life and while we are even chilling and watching TV shows like The Flash and Big Bang Theory. I've seen maybe one or two skateboarders roll by, but that shit pops up like a fucking Fight Club penguin when you least expect it, and never when opportunity permits engaging with those people. I've even went of recommendations of my Bio majoring, gamer, metal head friend in San Francisco..."check Reddit she said...find something you shall"..ok she didn't say it like that, but I did turn to her in Yoda like fashion. So, I tried it...nothing, nothing at all (yet). I've yet to drop a lure and see what bites. So, in the meantime, I've been lucky enough to get my fix over the last 6 or so months in finding amazing concerts nearby. I have made many coworkers jealous and envious (and you'd think that'd be a sign for me..but it isn't really, they haven't embraced the full power of the dark side). I can only hope this next year will produce something as awesome as seeing Hellyeah, In This Moment, Korn, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Of Mice & Men, Eve 6, Collective Soul and Goo Goo Dolls all in about 2/3s of the year. So I guess things can't be THAT bad, just that lonely there is no one else around these dusty parts, not for a hundred miles. But, I can't give up yet.
