on the cusp. days feel almost unstable as things fall into place. im gonna fight with all my might to make sure it happens this time. my goal is so close i can fucking taste it. the wait has been draining on me for years.
"what is this magical situation/thing?" you might ask.
its more of a big deal to me than anyone else.
it almost makes me ill to think how ive procastonated in the past and how ive let others/outside forces keep me from already being where i want to be.
no more years or months of waiting.... just weeks..... then days.. then reality.
i'd tell you want it is... but like i said... its only really life altering for me AT THIS MOMENT... and will seem anticlimatic for most others reading this. its a goal that will forfill me. a goal that when reached... will prove to myself that time and my own interpersonal conflicts have been the only things against me. i will no longer have to hide under overwhelming fear of failure. the same fear that attempts to crush all of us that live for art and non conformity.
for me, this vehicle will incorporate all my creative endevors and talents. it will give me a strong and legitimate platform to spew forth the next wave of raw underground culture... regaurdless if you be one of the nay sayers or non belivers.
those who doubt or oppose me... will be left behind. those close minded simps... will continue to not understand... even once the fire has been started. those of you that choose to allow yourself to remain weak and too fearful to stand up for underground culture... you will miss your chance to be apart of something that is the next logical step in underground culture. you wish you hadnt missed out on the boom of real punk rock, the realness of the beat generation, the raw unconformity of the original rave culture, and even metal before it was raped into popular culture.... uhg... think of all the underground cultures that have slowly been copied and bastardized for eazy consumption into the mainsteam. real underground culture is here for you... but copy cat hybrids and blatant sucking life from teh mainstream is vile and unacceptable.
to the non belivers i can only say... your counter-effects over underground movement and with the lack of people possesing a new sense of direction... you suckas will and have been shoved aside for the coming of the future underground.
i can only say that once this happens... i will be a more complete and justified person... and i will not forget those who supported me, nor will i forget those who attempted to shut down my machine.
whoa.. what a rant.
"what is this magical situation/thing?" you might ask.
its more of a big deal to me than anyone else.
it almost makes me ill to think how ive procastonated in the past and how ive let others/outside forces keep me from already being where i want to be.
no more years or months of waiting.... just weeks..... then days.. then reality.
i'd tell you want it is... but like i said... its only really life altering for me AT THIS MOMENT... and will seem anticlimatic for most others reading this. its a goal that will forfill me. a goal that when reached... will prove to myself that time and my own interpersonal conflicts have been the only things against me. i will no longer have to hide under overwhelming fear of failure. the same fear that attempts to crush all of us that live for art and non conformity.
for me, this vehicle will incorporate all my creative endevors and talents. it will give me a strong and legitimate platform to spew forth the next wave of raw underground culture... regaurdless if you be one of the nay sayers or non belivers.
those who doubt or oppose me... will be left behind. those close minded simps... will continue to not understand... even once the fire has been started. those of you that choose to allow yourself to remain weak and too fearful to stand up for underground culture... you will miss your chance to be apart of something that is the next logical step in underground culture. you wish you hadnt missed out on the boom of real punk rock, the realness of the beat generation, the raw unconformity of the original rave culture, and even metal before it was raped into popular culture.... uhg... think of all the underground cultures that have slowly been copied and bastardized for eazy consumption into the mainsteam. real underground culture is here for you... but copy cat hybrids and blatant sucking life from teh mainstream is vile and unacceptable.
to the non belivers i can only say... your counter-effects over underground movement and with the lack of people possesing a new sense of direction... you suckas will and have been shoved aside for the coming of the future underground.
i can only say that once this happens... i will be a more complete and justified person... and i will not forget those who supported me, nor will i forget those who attempted to shut down my machine.
whoa.. what a rant.
:hel: