hexek

Alright, First order of binnis!

Again I cant say how much I love you all and how kind you are and accepting of my craziness. Thank you, truelly, thank you.

But heres what happened.......

I think too much. I also let friends take advantage of me too much. Im constantlly longing for acceptance and friendship. I have learned that 80% of my current friendbase are all users of me in one way or another. In fact if your reading this, your probably one of them, minus most of my SG friends list.

See I tell everyone I know about SuicideGirls. And I tell them to check out my page and they do when Im in a rut or whatever. And I make it availible for non SG'ers so that I can get my point out and not have to tell them and everyone over and over. They can just read it.

Forgive me but everyone on my friends list is good peoples except one, you know who you are....... You are a user and a person who seeks my help and friendship when you need it. You put blame on me and are never there FOR me, so you know who you are......

I have learned that I have a good time with these people even though it can be negative, but I have learned to accept it and if I dont want to be used, dont talk to them. But again I love company and friendship so I most of the time suck it up and move on.

Would you believe Im on vacation!!!

Im taking my first of three PAID vacations right now. I get three in the next six weeks, I love it! Im broke and bored and this is really no vacation, but It more cost efficient for me to take vacation then it is to work.

My only problem is Im stuck in my little one bedroom apartment, alone, bored, broke, and seeking companship from all sources.

Sitting here by myself can get me a thinkin......

Im honestly ok though, I just had EVERY plan possible fall through on me last night, and it sucked that I had to call around to see what was up.

BUT Things turned out great......

Two reasons.......

1) I conquered my fear and unknowingness of a certainISSUE.

I wrote this as one of those insecure honesty/joking things. I was honestly nervious, but I have ........ well you know. In my constant quest to help and please other people this was one of the things I needed help on. Ill leave that one there though. Sorry to be a crude, male dog.

2) Cause of what comedian Ralphie May said, " You can either be right or happy." Meaning if a female cancels a date cause she has stuff tomarrow and you have already set up your whole apartment for a wonderfull evening............, FUCK IT, go to her. Im not right, but I was/is happy.

Im going to be writing responses to everyone shortly, the were so detailed it will take me a minute or two.

But thanks again for all of your support.

BTW I spent all of my money on my apartment with enough for the SG event left over, but because I drove out of town last minute instead I have to cancel..... UNLESS I CAN DO AN ADVANCE TOMARROW!!! HA HA HA!!! YEAH BOOZIN!!!

Four more questions........

1) If you died right now would you go to heaven or hell? (and dont gimie any of the non-religious bs, just answer.)

2) Why do you think you would go there rather then the other place.

3) And what do you think they will have for dinner?

4) Read this quote three times and tell me your thoughts on it:

"Succession does not make the winner; it does not make the greater either. The true meaning of success is progress, not necessarily completion of positive progress, but trying and understanding failure in itself is great success in its own."

And Ill let you off easy, gimmie one question.... a good one.