TO my friends, family, and acquaintances,
Today was my second wedding anniversary, and the second time I spent it alone. My soon-to-be-ex never showed up, she ended up at the doctors, and just called with nothing to say.
Im a little depressed and think Im going to take a little break from everything for a day or so. I might feel better tomorrow, I might not. Dont worry, Ill be back.
Im just hurt, and hurt bad.
I dont know why Im the one who always makes other people happy and complete yet I cant do the same for myself.
I dont know why I cant find happiness and Im so hell-bent on finding it in a hurry.
I dont know why Im so lonely all the time.
And I dont know why I have to cry myself to sleep every night.
I dont know why I cant get over things.
Below is the letter I wrote my ex to close the deal, so to speak..
Ill be back in a day or so, take care everyone.
-HeXeK
Maranda Paige.....
Well here it is, two years later and we are apart. If I would have looked back exactly two years ago I would see anything happening to us but this. Maranda, I love you. You know that, and if you dont then you are blind. I have never had such a great love in my life as the one I had with you. I was sure it was going to last. All the times I didnt care about sleeping, and neither did you. I would just drive to wherever you were just to get a glimpse of you. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I couldnt believe your personality either. You had such a free spirit in the wake of negative surroundings and you could show so much love I was absolutely stunned by your existence. I swore since the first day I knew you that I would do everything in my ability to make you happy, to give you the life you deserved, to love you as much as you had loved me and do it unconditionally. And Im sorry I failed. On our second wedding anniversary, I sit here writing this, while listening to the soundtrack of our past. Good Morning Beautiful, Its your love, and even Independence Day. I loved hearing you sing that song, I think thats what I feel in love with first, your voice. But now I sit here listening to it all cause its gone. You know I even miss your spaghetti, as plain as it was it was you 100% and I miss it. But now, after two absent anniversaries, and the same last name as the first day I met you I realize. We dont exist anymore.
What happened? I think we both know all of the straws that added to the camels back. It was just too much. I cant believe we made it through Cassandra and Geoffrey and my Mom and we still end up leaving each other. Maranda my love, you do deserve a wonderful life with someone who can provide and comfort you when and how you need it. I wanted to try and I know I didnt do it the way you needed but I would have tried.
I have never been hurt by anything more in my life as by you and your actions on deployment. But with all that out in the open, the cheating, the falling in love with another man, everything, I still love you and would have forgiven you in a heartbeat, if you had asked. But I asked one thing in return. You hinted many times about coming home and I said you need to return home on our anniversary and tell me how you feel and we can start again as friends and lovers. Just you and me. No Geoffrey, no parents, no exs, just Geoff and Maranda. But you didnt show up. It hurt yes. But it was expected. I dont know why but I always have dreams of you walking through the door and just giving me the most passionate kiss of my life. But after today, with the no-show and the phone call with no declarations, I finally will let it go. I will say good bye and give up on any chance we had. I wont ever be able to get over you. I wont ever hate you truly, and I wont ever wish harm upon you. I cant, Im still in love. But I will turn away. I can and will allow myself to have no ties with you again. I will turn away and handle business. I would love to be your friend and I want to see you happy once again, but I will never be able to do it and must say I cannot be your friend now nor ever, Im sorry.
And before you write me back in anger, please dont. I know you had medical problems and what-not. Thats why I would have accepted it over the phone. I could have heard it from you in person another time. And you could have even asked me to come down there. I dont think its a wise thing for me to go down there but I would have. In fact I was moments away from either renting a room at either the Good Nite Inn, or the Spa Holiday Inn or whatever the name of that place is by MCRD. But it would have been wrong and I didnt want to violate your space.
I really dont know what else to write. Im hurt, but I understand your absence and I really do wish you the best of luck down the road. Maranda you are an absolutely beautiful woman, with a truly unique personality that though drives me crazy it also makes me more in love with you. You are a strong person, and you will do well in life. I wish you the best and I hope you find yourself and happiness. Please take care of yourself and dont take no shit from anyone. DO what you want when you want, and keep smiling. Thats what you told me when we met you know. Keep Smiling. I did, and thank you. I may be turning my back and walking away but I will never forget you Maranda Paige, never.
Goodbye Ranni,
Love Always,
Geoffrey Farris Birch
Today was my second wedding anniversary, and the second time I spent it alone. My soon-to-be-ex never showed up, she ended up at the doctors, and just called with nothing to say.
Im a little depressed and think Im going to take a little break from everything for a day or so. I might feel better tomorrow, I might not. Dont worry, Ill be back.
Im just hurt, and hurt bad.
I dont know why Im the one who always makes other people happy and complete yet I cant do the same for myself.
I dont know why I cant find happiness and Im so hell-bent on finding it in a hurry.
I dont know why Im so lonely all the time.
And I dont know why I have to cry myself to sleep every night.
I dont know why I cant get over things.
Below is the letter I wrote my ex to close the deal, so to speak..
Ill be back in a day or so, take care everyone.
-HeXeK
Maranda Paige.....
Well here it is, two years later and we are apart. If I would have looked back exactly two years ago I would see anything happening to us but this. Maranda, I love you. You know that, and if you dont then you are blind. I have never had such a great love in my life as the one I had with you. I was sure it was going to last. All the times I didnt care about sleeping, and neither did you. I would just drive to wherever you were just to get a glimpse of you. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I couldnt believe your personality either. You had such a free spirit in the wake of negative surroundings and you could show so much love I was absolutely stunned by your existence. I swore since the first day I knew you that I would do everything in my ability to make you happy, to give you the life you deserved, to love you as much as you had loved me and do it unconditionally. And Im sorry I failed. On our second wedding anniversary, I sit here writing this, while listening to the soundtrack of our past. Good Morning Beautiful, Its your love, and even Independence Day. I loved hearing you sing that song, I think thats what I feel in love with first, your voice. But now I sit here listening to it all cause its gone. You know I even miss your spaghetti, as plain as it was it was you 100% and I miss it. But now, after two absent anniversaries, and the same last name as the first day I met you I realize. We dont exist anymore.
What happened? I think we both know all of the straws that added to the camels back. It was just too much. I cant believe we made it through Cassandra and Geoffrey and my Mom and we still end up leaving each other. Maranda my love, you do deserve a wonderful life with someone who can provide and comfort you when and how you need it. I wanted to try and I know I didnt do it the way you needed but I would have tried.
I have never been hurt by anything more in my life as by you and your actions on deployment. But with all that out in the open, the cheating, the falling in love with another man, everything, I still love you and would have forgiven you in a heartbeat, if you had asked. But I asked one thing in return. You hinted many times about coming home and I said you need to return home on our anniversary and tell me how you feel and we can start again as friends and lovers. Just you and me. No Geoffrey, no parents, no exs, just Geoff and Maranda. But you didnt show up. It hurt yes. But it was expected. I dont know why but I always have dreams of you walking through the door and just giving me the most passionate kiss of my life. But after today, with the no-show and the phone call with no declarations, I finally will let it go. I will say good bye and give up on any chance we had. I wont ever be able to get over you. I wont ever hate you truly, and I wont ever wish harm upon you. I cant, Im still in love. But I will turn away. I can and will allow myself to have no ties with you again. I will turn away and handle business. I would love to be your friend and I want to see you happy once again, but I will never be able to do it and must say I cannot be your friend now nor ever, Im sorry.
And before you write me back in anger, please dont. I know you had medical problems and what-not. Thats why I would have accepted it over the phone. I could have heard it from you in person another time. And you could have even asked me to come down there. I dont think its a wise thing for me to go down there but I would have. In fact I was moments away from either renting a room at either the Good Nite Inn, or the Spa Holiday Inn or whatever the name of that place is by MCRD. But it would have been wrong and I didnt want to violate your space.
I really dont know what else to write. Im hurt, but I understand your absence and I really do wish you the best of luck down the road. Maranda you are an absolutely beautiful woman, with a truly unique personality that though drives me crazy it also makes me more in love with you. You are a strong person, and you will do well in life. I wish you the best and I hope you find yourself and happiness. Please take care of yourself and dont take no shit from anyone. DO what you want when you want, and keep smiling. Thats what you told me when we met you know. Keep Smiling. I did, and thank you. I may be turning my back and walking away but I will never forget you Maranda Paige, never.
Goodbye Ranni,
Love Always,
Geoffrey Farris Birch
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I know I don't know you but I am truely sorry for whatever you had to go through. Just try to remember that you will be stronger for this someday. Good luck with everything.
P.S. Nothing has made me cry or touched me like that in the longest time. That is amazing that someone can share his heart like that for strangers to read.