Hello SG!
Hello Autumn in Scotland.
Del was asking me if I had rejoined SG earlier which reminded me that I hadn't made a post in a while.. .
This post is soundtracked to Miaoux Miaoux who is not only amazing but who can resist a guy who called himself after a noise a cat makes and has a flowery skull in his music video?
It is dedicated to being a bit heartbroken. I liked a boy, i let myself fall for him and again I got hurt and lead on. Less than 2 hours after getting dumped I went off on a date with a sort of famous TV presenter and comedian got v drunk went home with him. Then went into work the next day like a wreck. Made worse by the fact that I work with the sister and ex of the guy I was seeing (thanks to him they both knew). Tried so hard to hold back the tears and kept having to run off to the loos for a blub. Seriously his ex must be wondering what the heck he seen in little ol' disaster me.
"In the quietest hour of the loudest day
Will you let the darkness take you away?
You're so close to sadness and so far from home
Did you put your faith in someone in stone?
You can call my name out as loud as you can
This is not the end or auf wiedersehn
You can call my name out
Just a song to help you get on okay"
Miaoux Miaoux - Ribbon Falls
No wonder I get so scared when this happens to me all the time. He did that annoying thing of "let's just be friends" when you know it's never really going to happen. Whenever I get hurt I just feel like a teenager again. Crying into my pillows and throwing my phone at the wall like I did when I was sad from getting bullied at school.
I think the main thing that is playing on my mind is by brother and his wedding at the end of October and part 2 in France in March. He is marrying a French girl and her family have quite a bit of money so she has pretty much outright bought a flat for them both. I am sat at my parents house, working my butt off and struggling to make a success of myself, forever single. I know these wedding days are only going to make me unhappy as all the guests will be comparing me to my brother and her Catholic family will no doubt think of me as "poor single Loraine with the tattoos and red hair" (but obviously in the French equivalent).
I shouldn't care really. I really wish that I didn't have to go. I will find someone to love who loves me back, I will make a success from my career. It's just not suppose to happen yet.
Things are starting to fall together with my photography and my hard graft is starting to get me somewhere rather than floating about in the same place. I've had quite a bit of my photography work published in a big wedding magazine and one massive pic in a broadsheet newspaper. It makes me so over the mood when someone is really excited about my work.
I am getting back into photographing live bands. I am enjoying being away from the burlesque politics and enjoying photographing cute floppy haired indie boys again. Although less boobs and more boys - most people on here would argue that that is not a good thing.
Performing wise I really enjoyed getting back into doing shows again. The fringe was a good way for me to get my confidence back. There's a few exciting developments in the pipeline just now for later in the year and next year. I'm not sure how long I will continue burlesque to be honest. I've not missed it as much as I thought but i do love being on stage.
Well, with that I promise to be on here more and I bid you a goodnight.
I am banned from facebook and ill with a cold. NICE
xx
Hello Autumn in Scotland.
Del was asking me if I had rejoined SG earlier which reminded me that I hadn't made a post in a while.. .
This post is soundtracked to Miaoux Miaoux who is not only amazing but who can resist a guy who called himself after a noise a cat makes and has a flowery skull in his music video?
It is dedicated to being a bit heartbroken. I liked a boy, i let myself fall for him and again I got hurt and lead on. Less than 2 hours after getting dumped I went off on a date with a sort of famous TV presenter and comedian got v drunk went home with him. Then went into work the next day like a wreck. Made worse by the fact that I work with the sister and ex of the guy I was seeing (thanks to him they both knew). Tried so hard to hold back the tears and kept having to run off to the loos for a blub. Seriously his ex must be wondering what the heck he seen in little ol' disaster me.
"In the quietest hour of the loudest day
Will you let the darkness take you away?
You're so close to sadness and so far from home
Did you put your faith in someone in stone?
You can call my name out as loud as you can
This is not the end or auf wiedersehn
You can call my name out
Just a song to help you get on okay"
Miaoux Miaoux - Ribbon Falls
No wonder I get so scared when this happens to me all the time. He did that annoying thing of "let's just be friends" when you know it's never really going to happen. Whenever I get hurt I just feel like a teenager again. Crying into my pillows and throwing my phone at the wall like I did when I was sad from getting bullied at school.
I think the main thing that is playing on my mind is by brother and his wedding at the end of October and part 2 in France in March. He is marrying a French girl and her family have quite a bit of money so she has pretty much outright bought a flat for them both. I am sat at my parents house, working my butt off and struggling to make a success of myself, forever single. I know these wedding days are only going to make me unhappy as all the guests will be comparing me to my brother and her Catholic family will no doubt think of me as "poor single Loraine with the tattoos and red hair" (but obviously in the French equivalent).
I shouldn't care really. I really wish that I didn't have to go. I will find someone to love who loves me back, I will make a success from my career. It's just not suppose to happen yet.
Things are starting to fall together with my photography and my hard graft is starting to get me somewhere rather than floating about in the same place. I've had quite a bit of my photography work published in a big wedding magazine and one massive pic in a broadsheet newspaper. It makes me so over the mood when someone is really excited about my work.
I am getting back into photographing live bands. I am enjoying being away from the burlesque politics and enjoying photographing cute floppy haired indie boys again. Although less boobs and more boys - most people on here would argue that that is not a good thing.
Performing wise I really enjoyed getting back into doing shows again. The fringe was a good way for me to get my confidence back. There's a few exciting developments in the pipeline just now for later in the year and next year. I'm not sure how long I will continue burlesque to be honest. I've not missed it as much as I thought but i do love being on stage.
Well, with that I promise to be on here more and I bid you a goodnight.
I am banned from facebook and ill with a cold. NICE
xx
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Falling for douchebags is a habbit you defiitely need to break. You deserve a decent guy. Maybe it's all pointing out the fact you should move to London haha.